"many have asked me to express it and I am not sure if I can. There is Joseph, completely broken by [her] and here I am wondering if he is pouring his heart out to me or if it is her he still loves. This is why I am hesitant to tell him [Joseph] my true feelings because what if we're all falling for people whose hearts in reality belong to someone else? After Damien, I don't think I could bear the thought of that humiliation once again and we all know what a conflicting situation that was; why must we be so confusing in such matters? You asked me if it was simple if he loves me or I him but yes, I love him with everything in my being, my soul. I wish for those nights where I could be with him yet he is too far away right now; can we change this not for quite some time. I hate dealing with emotions because they are so imbalanced with our human nature and can fall anyway we choose them to. I am quite certain that Damien suspects my feelings for Joseph when he returned, but he [Damien] should have been fully aware with how he left us what would happen...did he expect me to move on or just wait for him? If only love was that simple and we all know it isn't. Would I leave with Joseph? Of course I would without giving it a second thought anything I could possibly do to be with him I would do and I hate that feeling of weakness because it gives him so much power and does he realise this? Of course he would he would be foolish not to, I just ask that he not torture me with promises or expect me to fall and not catch me in the end result. I am surrendering myself to Joseph, here and now; yes I have all of these fears and doubts but I trust him and that frightens me but I will admit to this no matter how the situation becomes I will remain true to Joseph and will forever be in love with him despite what others may say. You can call me foolish, say I need to slow down or just give up all together I believe that someday in the near future we will be together, I will see him and will confess my love to him in person and not by letter even though I've written a dozen letters confessing myself and they never seem to be fitting. So yes, I am in love with Joseph and anything from his past I will fully accept and take with me I will love him forever and I will love him fearlessly...despite the consequences"....
-this is the excerpt from the Awakening and was also the passage to which inspired my arm tattoo [because people always ask where is it from hehe]
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