For a very long while now, I am sure those closest to me [and a few others] constantly will hear me quoting something simply entitled "The Awakening". People do not realise what it is exactly or where these quotes are coming from and it is something I never really spoke about until now for some reason.
My father was a novelist and in fact just before he passed I was planning to join him on his book tour signing but shortly after he became ill and ultimately died. I still have the email from him where he was talking about his book tour and was excited I would travel with him and I was and am still exceptionally proud of my father for his accomplishments.
"The Awakening" was the last manuscript my father was working on for his next work. Originally, he wrote the story about his experience living in French Vietnam/Thailand due to his work at the time. My father taught and his other projects ended my parents in Thailand to which we were all born. Not only that, in addition [such as my Godfather] most in Eastern Europe especially attended college elsewhere due to government restrictions, in fact my Godfather eventually attended and graduated from university in Paris. One reason we grew up speaking French as knowing Russian/Serbian. I was a small child coming here but my two older sisters returned to Thailand and Europe for their own college endeavors.
Anyway, "The Awakening" was originally written about a man who lived in French Vietnam at the time. Ultimately, he met a lady fell in love and had a child. The two ultimately died and the child went to live with relatives where she endured a difficult life, but endured it all and found her own happiness.
When I was younger, I always and I mean always thought the main character Dahlia was my older sister as she and my father were the closest. I was always the "black sheep" if you will of the family or always in the shadows considering coming from a family where everyone performed or had some amazing talent or gift. It wasn't however until I was older and just now even realising that Dahlia wasn't my oldest sister at all that in fact...Dahlia is me.
I realised this when I finally brought myself to read my father's last book and he autographed it and wrote a passage. This made me realise that as a father how much he actually cared about me as a daughter and even though I was so stubborn in a sense failed to notice it. I still haven't brought myself to finish all of my father's last book, because it is difficult and people always ask why don't I talk about my parents since they were "so famous" either way what people fail to understand is that I was/still am close to my parents and my parents are no longer living. It is because it's difficult to talk about them am I proud of them absolutely every single day. I was blessed enough to come from two very creative and talented individuals and so thankful for the time spent with them here on Earth even though it wasn't as long as was hoping but they left me with enough wisdom to last a long time as did my brother.
In the past people have made really horrible comments and mocked my family which is rather disrespectful yes especially when don't even personally know me or my family/parents. But they expressed a great deal through their art and creativity and that does resonate within me; think this is why I am no longer afraid to be a performer or to express myself more creatively. It's okay to come out from the shadows and be my own person if I want to remain in nursing always or be a performer or do both even it is strictly my choice and nothing wrong with that at all.
But in the end Dahlia was similar to Alice [from Alice in Wonderland] and my father would always joke that I reminded him of Alice. She's very strong but doesn't realise it at least not until the end. She is "beautiful" but not in that typical super model type of beautiful most would assume but she is in her own quirky way and there is something that draws people towards her...she is a lighthouse.
I didn't realise this once again until reading what my father had written at the beginning of the book he gave me, and recently someone told me I was a lighthouse. It just never dawned on me. So, my father left me this manuscript before he passed and he was hoping I would complete it somehow and reading it, I just realised he had written my life story until he died and it was up to me to write my own destiny.
The moral of the story is our fate is determined by the choices we make in life nothing is ever set in stone. Everyday is our own novel.
I miss you Papa.
Natalie
"People ought to think of her as such; she is after all an amazing catch which is much to say about the women here in Lilac-Palisades. If only she knew how much beauty resonated not only on the outside but the inside as well and also how much men are actually drawn to her. They see her as a challenge attempting to win her hand and convincing her to marry them. You'd be shocked to learn who would love to place a ring on her finger. Dahlia is stubborn as they come and of course she'll fight it off just because of her pride and independence. She's worse than Scarlett O' Hara as they say. Indeed she is. Beautiful but good luck and may the best man win"
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