this sums up pretty much everything in my life [since people are curious]
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Interview with photographer J.E....part 2
This is the second half of the interview :)
Q: So speaking of Angelina Jolie and I know you've mentioned people will refer you to her as "insults" does that bother you at all?
A: No, I actually find quite flattering to be honest. I mean, Angelina is goregous, she does loads of humanitarian work, she seems to be a wonderful mother and loving person and to top it off she has Brad what is so insulting about that? Those are actually things I am hoping to accomplish within my own life eventually and to be honest I can relate to her quite a bit our life paths have been somewhat similiar.
Q: What about the similiarities and how has that affected your life?
A: I can relate because my parents divorced when I was young...they had their reasons for it and growing up in the business and just having that whole reckless youth so to speak. But you know, I think that is the whole part of being young making mistakes and learning from them. I never would be the person I am now if not for those mistakes I made.
Q: You rebelled a lot?
A: I did, especially after my parents died. I went through this whole angry stage and think that is part of being young not caring what others think in a inconsiderate way. I learned and grew so thankful for people in my life for putting up with me and seeing me through all of it.
Q: Faith you mention a lot has that helped?
A: Yes, loads. I am religious but I am also not the type of person to publicly discuss it all the time because I feel that is a person's personal choice. But for me, being an Orthodox Christian has helped me and faith in general. Having a Godfather as an Eastern Orthodox priest really helped me too whenever I start to doubt myself or feel like I can't deal he is definitely the first person I turn to as well faith it helps keep me balanced for sure.
Q: Do you care what people think about you?
A: I do, but I don't if that makes sense. I don't allow it to run my life all the time you can't. If I happen to make a fool out of myself who really cares I'm not frightened how other perceive me in the long run. It's my own choices and how it affects me affects me no one else for the most part. Unless it is directly affecting others around me, I really don't care what people think about me.
Q: Everyone wants to make a big deal about your personal life, so?
A: It's my personal life, I already talked about it. I mean, I am not nor never have been the type of person to discuss everything in the public. Of course it's human nature to want to know what goes on in our lives but as mentioned before even if yes or no just not discussing it. I honestly hope that the focus remains on his music and my dancing.
Q: You were once criticized because you don't talk about your family and growing up in the business?
A: What people don't realise is that it's hard for me to talk about my parents because both of them are no longer living. So that makes it really difficult I wasn't close with my Dad until I was much older and just before he died, my Mum was I always exceptionally close to so it does make it hard to talk about them loads. I do miss them dearly.
Q: Okay, next topic...what projects do you have in store next?
A: Well always dancing and choreographing something I love and will always do. I am more a back behind the scenes kind of person. So being a performer now is so odd to me because I grew up in the industry but more behind the scenes than anything it's where I feel more comfortable. Spotlight doesn't bother me, but I think it is more fun being behind the scenes. Other than that just writing and will see where that goes.
Q: Writing music, yes?
A: Yes, I am writing my third EP which is exciting writing is amazing and think it is where I am more expressive as with dance but second to dancing I love writing. And of course having a Mum who was a musician as well my big brother so music was around me always.
Q: You feel more comfortable around musicians, right?
A: I actually do. I feel as though I can relate to musicians way more than "normal" people it has been that way my whole life then again relating to "normal" people was never easy for me. I've been in this since I was 14 roughly so that entire of having a regular life is really unique to me for many reasons.
Q: You don't watch television?
A: You know, I barely watch the telly and I hardly know what all is going on with recent shows. I see people tweet about them all the time but yea, I usually read or write/listen to music. I do however love films love watching films always have loved that.
Q: Your ideal romantic partner?
A: Canadian. just kidding!! But really, I actually prefer musicians or performers because those are the type of men who seem to "get me" in all honesty. But, I do like Canadian guys don't know and Australian guys too! But, he would definitely have to have a sense of humour, be intelligent, as well be compassionate. I love men who have big hearts.
Q: The most recent rumor involves a certain indie film director...any truth to it all?
A: I know people had been talking about whether I had an affair with indie film director which I am keeping nameless [ I refuse to name drop] the answer to that is a no. I think he is a nice man but, I think on a dating level we wouldn't match up well. If I wanted to have a fling with someone sure, but having flings isn't my thing to be honest.
Q: So you're a relationship girl?
A: Yes, I am actually. I never been a hook up type of girl I think relationships should be respected and always wanted to be with someone who respected me as a person.
Q: Do you think romance in our society is dead?
A: Yea, I do. I do believe in love and romance and it can manifest in many ways. I love the idea of falling in love being young it's what we're supposed to do. But, I love the whole process of falling for someone and I really don't think there is a set way to fall for someone, it can be someone we haven't met yet or even a celebrity who's to say what are the rules and boundaries for love and romance? And with social medias it's easy to fall for someone but can also be more real falling for their substance and not just physical attributes it's weird but then again so am I.
Q: So you think it is possible to fall for someone while not meeting them in person first?
A: Sure, why not? I believe Sleepless in Seattle romances exist.
Q: So next burlesque performances?
A: Yes, I mean 2013 was more of a trial period with routines and characters 2014 is going to be taken on a whole different level as far costuming, choreography etc. I am actually excited.
Q: What advice would you give to any little girl or boy who wants to pursue dance?
A: Always be humble, remember where you came from, have faith, be determined, have a fall back plan, and always, always, believe.
Q: So speaking of Angelina Jolie and I know you've mentioned people will refer you to her as "insults" does that bother you at all?
A: No, I actually find quite flattering to be honest. I mean, Angelina is goregous, she does loads of humanitarian work, she seems to be a wonderful mother and loving person and to top it off she has Brad what is so insulting about that? Those are actually things I am hoping to accomplish within my own life eventually and to be honest I can relate to her quite a bit our life paths have been somewhat similiar.
Q: What about the similiarities and how has that affected your life?
A: I can relate because my parents divorced when I was young...they had their reasons for it and growing up in the business and just having that whole reckless youth so to speak. But you know, I think that is the whole part of being young making mistakes and learning from them. I never would be the person I am now if not for those mistakes I made.
Q: You rebelled a lot?
A: I did, especially after my parents died. I went through this whole angry stage and think that is part of being young not caring what others think in a inconsiderate way. I learned and grew so thankful for people in my life for putting up with me and seeing me through all of it.
Q: Faith you mention a lot has that helped?
A: Yes, loads. I am religious but I am also not the type of person to publicly discuss it all the time because I feel that is a person's personal choice. But for me, being an Orthodox Christian has helped me and faith in general. Having a Godfather as an Eastern Orthodox priest really helped me too whenever I start to doubt myself or feel like I can't deal he is definitely the first person I turn to as well faith it helps keep me balanced for sure.
Q: Do you care what people think about you?
A: I do, but I don't if that makes sense. I don't allow it to run my life all the time you can't. If I happen to make a fool out of myself who really cares I'm not frightened how other perceive me in the long run. It's my own choices and how it affects me affects me no one else for the most part. Unless it is directly affecting others around me, I really don't care what people think about me.
Q: Everyone wants to make a big deal about your personal life, so?
A: It's my personal life, I already talked about it. I mean, I am not nor never have been the type of person to discuss everything in the public. Of course it's human nature to want to know what goes on in our lives but as mentioned before even if yes or no just not discussing it. I honestly hope that the focus remains on his music and my dancing.
Q: You were once criticized because you don't talk about your family and growing up in the business?
A: What people don't realise is that it's hard for me to talk about my parents because both of them are no longer living. So that makes it really difficult I wasn't close with my Dad until I was much older and just before he died, my Mum was I always exceptionally close to so it does make it hard to talk about them loads. I do miss them dearly.
Q: Okay, next topic...what projects do you have in store next?
A: Well always dancing and choreographing something I love and will always do. I am more a back behind the scenes kind of person. So being a performer now is so odd to me because I grew up in the industry but more behind the scenes than anything it's where I feel more comfortable. Spotlight doesn't bother me, but I think it is more fun being behind the scenes. Other than that just writing and will see where that goes.
Q: Writing music, yes?
A: Yes, I am writing my third EP which is exciting writing is amazing and think it is where I am more expressive as with dance but second to dancing I love writing. And of course having a Mum who was a musician as well my big brother so music was around me always.
Q: You feel more comfortable around musicians, right?
A: I actually do. I feel as though I can relate to musicians way more than "normal" people it has been that way my whole life then again relating to "normal" people was never easy for me. I've been in this since I was 14 roughly so that entire of having a regular life is really unique to me for many reasons.
Q: You don't watch television?
A: You know, I barely watch the telly and I hardly know what all is going on with recent shows. I see people tweet about them all the time but yea, I usually read or write/listen to music. I do however love films love watching films always have loved that.
Q: Your ideal romantic partner?
A: Canadian. just kidding!! But really, I actually prefer musicians or performers because those are the type of men who seem to "get me" in all honesty. But, I do like Canadian guys don't know and Australian guys too! But, he would definitely have to have a sense of humour, be intelligent, as well be compassionate. I love men who have big hearts.
Q: The most recent rumor involves a certain indie film director...any truth to it all?
A: I know people had been talking about whether I had an affair with indie film director which I am keeping nameless [ I refuse to name drop] the answer to that is a no. I think he is a nice man but, I think on a dating level we wouldn't match up well. If I wanted to have a fling with someone sure, but having flings isn't my thing to be honest.
Q: So you're a relationship girl?
A: Yes, I am actually. I never been a hook up type of girl I think relationships should be respected and always wanted to be with someone who respected me as a person.
Q: Do you think romance in our society is dead?
A: Yea, I do. I do believe in love and romance and it can manifest in many ways. I love the idea of falling in love being young it's what we're supposed to do. But, I love the whole process of falling for someone and I really don't think there is a set way to fall for someone, it can be someone we haven't met yet or even a celebrity who's to say what are the rules and boundaries for love and romance? And with social medias it's easy to fall for someone but can also be more real falling for their substance and not just physical attributes it's weird but then again so am I.
Q: So you think it is possible to fall for someone while not meeting them in person first?
A: Sure, why not? I believe Sleepless in Seattle romances exist.
Q: So next burlesque performances?
A: Yes, I mean 2013 was more of a trial period with routines and characters 2014 is going to be taken on a whole different level as far costuming, choreography etc. I am actually excited.
Q: What advice would you give to any little girl or boy who wants to pursue dance?
A: Always be humble, remember where you came from, have faith, be determined, have a fall back plan, and always, always, believe.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
from my personal tumblr/twitter account
“I didn’t learn about it until a close friend actually tweeted that to me; it’s how I find out about most things unless someone tweets, texts, or calls me about it. I don’t follow all the rumours and gossip it just isn’t my thing, but I know how Kelly Divine feels. Except I don’t get hate from Beliebers they actually have been the coolest and most respectful and I will defend them to the moon and back. I actually get hate from people in the burlesque community, now how sad is that? I could post the awful things people write or say to me but I choose to focus on positives I love Justin he’s a beautiful person inside and out but I don’t think the hate is coming from Beliebers. I think people love to toss blame to make them and Justin look bad and that is not cool yea some can be rude just like my fans [pagers] can be but I think most don’t really care. But about the whole Kelly Divine thing people must understand too that is something personal and private if someone wants to view that; we’re not kids anymore we grow up and I grew up in this industry as well so know how hard it is for people to not see you as no longer a child, I am experiencing this now. It may be hard for some to understand but we’re maturing and wanting more adult relationships, etc people should be respectful of that though, but in the end it’s all love”
Thursday, September 19, 2013
10th letter of the alphabet followed by the 2nd letter of the alphabet
BREATHE
look into this mirror
tell me what do you see
beautiful can't begin to describe you
or what you mean to me
come a little bit closer to me
let me see you spin
want to get inside of your mind
i'll make you let me in
open up your eyes
to the possibilities
take it there
love the fear
you'd be surprised
how good it feels
to just let it go
and breathe with me
breathe....
breathe with me
breathe....
breathe with me
breathe....
breathe with me
shadows fall onto our bodies
from a winter sun
lace on lace in strawberry shades
as we both come undone
open up your world
show me the deepest secrets
i would
i'd understand
watching us spun
into a million pieces
with the touch of your hand
breathe with me
breathe....
breathe with me
breathe....
breathe....
you can have me
touch me slowly
kiss me softly
take me over
take me over
whisper loudly
push into me
mark my body
lose control now
take me
take me over
just take me
take me over
breathe...
just breathe with me
breathe....
breathe....
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
the little moments can mean so much
I hardly discuss my family life, but I do have a Godson and a Goddaughter who mean the absolute world to me; they both have been the biggest blessing in my life and cannot imagine my life without them in it. I never really talk about it but traveling for shows, photo shoots, etc it does make being away from them so difficult and love cherishing moment I can with them. They are both super young still and want to see the first walks and words, etc. I learned early on how precious life can be and to always spend time with those you cherish because each day is such a blessing...but this song always reminds me of my Godson and Goddaughter and actually my Godson will not go to sleep unless play this song for him. So while I am getting ready to head back out on the road will definitely have this song on my playlist and always counting the moments will be able to see them again.
xoxo
Natalie
xoxo
Natalie
Sunday, September 15, 2013
random verbage while in the market
this is another posting from my personal tumblr account and yes this truly happened to me while I was at the market, very interesting moment indeed.
earlier this evening I went to the market, I was searching through the aisles like any other normal person. When I was walking towards one section two men walked passed me and at the time thought absolutely nothing about it; then one of those two men came back and approached me. He said to me, “I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re very beautiful and sadly, most men are like my friend who was with me…it just seems like men of our generation like the ratchets”, yes it shocked me because that was so random and definitely unexpected. It was shocking because I was in the market wearing sweats, sneaks, had the messy bun and no make up. That actually turned out to be one of the most straight forward and memorable compliments I’ve ever received.
earlier this evening I went to the market, I was searching through the aisles like any other normal person. When I was walking towards one section two men walked passed me and at the time thought absolutely nothing about it; then one of those two men came back and approached me. He said to me, “I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re very beautiful and sadly, most men are like my friend who was with me…it just seems like men of our generation like the ratchets”, yes it shocked me because that was so random and definitely unexpected. It was shocking because I was in the market wearing sweats, sneaks, had the messy bun and no make up. That actually turned out to be one of the most straight forward and memorable compliments I’ve ever received.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
interview with photographer J.E.
Not long ago I sat down with photographer J.E. and was asked some questions and here are the highlights from that interview once again thanks so much and looking forward to all the new projects.
Natalie
Q: The question I am sure you always get asked is how did you end up as a burlesque dancer?
A: Yes, I do get asked this quite frequently and as always I grew up as a dancer since I was 6 years old. So dancing always has been and will be a huge chunk of my life and I know many people who are burlesque performers and would always go watch them so one day I was talked into it. I figured why not, I try just about everything at least once in life it's just how I am. You know I am glad that I did though it's been an awesome experience and a challenge.
Q: The next question is always about nudity your thoughts on that?
A: Well, I don't think nudity in general is a bad thing per se. I think if done tastefully it can be art but is it something I would do personally and the answer is no. I've been modeling since I was 14 and never done nudes and really don't intend to start. I think there are ways to be a creative and fascinating burlesque dancer without using nudity. I think this is the misconception about it lies and that is okay everyone has their own take of what burlesque is same with any genre of performance arts. I am glad people are accepting my vision of it however.
Q: How is it being accepted into the burlesque community?
A: I am going to be honest it has been tough because I don't do nudes and I also have a professional career. I mean, my Mum made me promise before pursuing any type of performance career to attend college and earn some sort of training/degree because in our field anything can happen and not everything is guaranteed. Looking back on it I didn't understand it but now I am glad she did because she's right I can't do this forever so it is nice to have something to fall back on. I also like it because it reminds me I am still "normal".
Q: You want to always be "normal"?
A: To an extent although I did not have a "normal" childhood. I for the most part grew up in the industry so think there is that fascination with having a "normal" life. I feel like Harry Potter to an extent you know living in a muggle world. I now understand my parents though and why they made the decisions they did as parents. It keeps me humble and I honestly pray all the time I remain humble hope that never changes.
Q: What was your childhood like?
A: It was different. I mean we all weren't born in the United States so when I came here I was young had an accent kids made fun of me because I was so "weird" actually I was bullied quite a bit. People think I had a perfect childhood but my parents divorced when I was young and my Mum basically raised us by herself. My Dad did not really play a huge role in my life not until I was older. He had his issues and you know no one is perfect and think my first lesson in forgiveness was with my parents; so yea I had to be like 45 when I was only 16 pretty much. I grew up with no privacy and I remember when my Dad died and how the media was and that really made me not like media of course have to deal with them and so forth and that doesn't bother me it is just the lack of respect for personal boundaries. I think this is why I am so private as a person now.
Q: You almost gave up performing not long ago why?
A: Not getting that acceptance and I know I still don't at least not fully. I've heard some tell me hey I have a degree why am I even performing, but I do this because I love it and dance is my passion always has been. I know as well my style is "different" than most people and that is okay. I want to be the type of performer where everyone can enjoy my shows not just an older audience. I want to appeal to everyone and have shows for adults as well shows where parents would feel comfortable bringing their children under 18.
Q: What is with the Dita von Teese comparisons add pressure?
A: most definitely. I know I still have to grow as a performer and not afraid to take those risks and part of being a performer is taking risks personally and artistically will never grow as a person or any other way. So yes, it is pressure but I want to be my own version of myself.
Q: How is it dating and being a performer?
A: it is hard, um my last relationship [if want to call it that] ended because he didn't want to deal with the "spotlight" and he was at a place where he wanted a more "serious" lifestyle and that is okay. Dating is difficult in general and especially being a performer some people just cannot handle it and then there are trust issues because never know who is there for really you or what they think you can do for them etc and it doesn't matter how long you've known a person I have learned. New friends have been much better than the old ones here lately.
Q: Let's talk about the hate you've been getting last several months over your romantic life?
A: Honestly, I don't know where that all came from. I think it's because I performed to a couple of his songs [Bieber] and people started making assumptions. I actually wasn't aware until people were coming up to me and asking "hey, heard this rumour from twitter" and remember thinking "um, okay" because I hardly discuss my personal life and especially who I am dating. But yea, seeking out my social media and just being disrespectful is uncalled for. Getting hate actually doesn't bother me because I tend to block out negativity like that and as long as I am happy and he's happy who necessarily cares? I do however think people make more out of getting the hate especially being involved with him not sure if it's just attention or what but I don't think it's something to make yourself a "martyr" of sorts out of. People just don't like you personally, that happens it's life and probably more people don't care about it just small amount who say some things via social media sites but that's it. I am willing to bet 9 out of 10 people would care less. But I think age has much to do with it as well, and not just physical but emotionally too. It is a very young fanbase and nothing wrong with that at all. Burlesque tends to have a much older fanbase so the rationale is quite different. But I do think when you're 14-17 relationships and the complexities of those are viewed so much differently than when let's say you're mid 20s and older.It's just life experiences that's all.
Q: You also say that the hate you were getting over him did not come from people you expected?
A: True. I was actually expecting to get hate from his fanbase because at first I literally thought that is where it was coming from but it was actually the burlesque community and people my age group which isn't that much older than Bieber's so yea that was shocking. It's like we're old enough you don't have to like my music choices or me as a performer but at least respect me. But in reality Beliebers have been the coolest to me and I have the utmost respect for them and honestly I would defend them to the moon and back.
Q: So guess the question is...are you?
A: Even if the answer is no I would not discuss it publicly, it's just how I am. I will say that I think it is flattering just because I think he has the hugest heart of anyone I know. He is also a brilliant musician and in general a wonderful man. I think people are harder on him way more than what is necessary and it really isn't fair. He's basically a male version of me he's different and that's okay nothing wrong with that at all. I am glad he is coming into his own person and seeing him develop as an artist it's great. But to answer that I just don't discuss it either way. The focus should be on his music and the focus should be on my dancing.
Q: You don't see yourself performing forever no?
A: Actually, I don't. I am actually hoping to be a Mum and a wife eventually; and, if it comes down to it I want to not necessarily give up but perform less depending upon the relationship which is why I am performing as much I am now. I just want to be a hands on type of Mum and be a wife to my husband when I get one. Yes, I am independent but I also have a domestic side too you can be in a relationship or married and still have independence.
Q: Future projects?
A: I think eventually I could see myself designing costumes, etc. possibly but I would love to put more time into my humanitarian work and projects so something along those lines as well.
Q: Favorite album?
A: all time the Divine Comedy by Milla. It's so gorgeous and it deals with Ukrainian culture which I think is why the album did amazing in Europe it just kind of went whoop here haha. Having a father who was Serbian/Ukrainian a lot of the culture was there in the songs I loved it.
Q: What is your nationality?
A: My Dad was Serbian/Ukrainian and my Mum was Native American. I mean I was raised to appreciate both cultures and to be proud of where I came from and my heritages. It's so neat because feel have two of the coolest cultures within me and never want to forget that want to pass it on to my children.
Q: What languages do you speak hear you speak quite a few
A: I grew up speaking French and Russian so those two I know. I also speak Spanish and German as well can read Serbian.
Q: Favorite city?
A: I love Toronto and Canada in general. I also love Bangkok and Australia weather is great really looking forward to those places eventually.
Q: Your thoughts on Angelina Jolie?
A: I love Angelina she is one of my heroes she's also who I hope to be like when I "grow up". I can relate to her story quite a bit especially being that wild child streak definitely went through that phase and just growing as a person. She is definitely a fighter and she is not afraid to fight for what she believes in or loves and I'm the same way plus she's left handed as am I and from what I was told be both have our Moon in Aries sorry kind of an astrology junkie haha.
Natalie
Q: The question I am sure you always get asked is how did you end up as a burlesque dancer?
A: Yes, I do get asked this quite frequently and as always I grew up as a dancer since I was 6 years old. So dancing always has been and will be a huge chunk of my life and I know many people who are burlesque performers and would always go watch them so one day I was talked into it. I figured why not, I try just about everything at least once in life it's just how I am. You know I am glad that I did though it's been an awesome experience and a challenge.
Q: The next question is always about nudity your thoughts on that?
A: Well, I don't think nudity in general is a bad thing per se. I think if done tastefully it can be art but is it something I would do personally and the answer is no. I've been modeling since I was 14 and never done nudes and really don't intend to start. I think there are ways to be a creative and fascinating burlesque dancer without using nudity. I think this is the misconception about it lies and that is okay everyone has their own take of what burlesque is same with any genre of performance arts. I am glad people are accepting my vision of it however.
Q: How is it being accepted into the burlesque community?
A: I am going to be honest it has been tough because I don't do nudes and I also have a professional career. I mean, my Mum made me promise before pursuing any type of performance career to attend college and earn some sort of training/degree because in our field anything can happen and not everything is guaranteed. Looking back on it I didn't understand it but now I am glad she did because she's right I can't do this forever so it is nice to have something to fall back on. I also like it because it reminds me I am still "normal".
Q: You want to always be "normal"?
A: To an extent although I did not have a "normal" childhood. I for the most part grew up in the industry so think there is that fascination with having a "normal" life. I feel like Harry Potter to an extent you know living in a muggle world. I now understand my parents though and why they made the decisions they did as parents. It keeps me humble and I honestly pray all the time I remain humble hope that never changes.
Q: What was your childhood like?
A: It was different. I mean we all weren't born in the United States so when I came here I was young had an accent kids made fun of me because I was so "weird" actually I was bullied quite a bit. People think I had a perfect childhood but my parents divorced when I was young and my Mum basically raised us by herself. My Dad did not really play a huge role in my life not until I was older. He had his issues and you know no one is perfect and think my first lesson in forgiveness was with my parents; so yea I had to be like 45 when I was only 16 pretty much. I grew up with no privacy and I remember when my Dad died and how the media was and that really made me not like media of course have to deal with them and so forth and that doesn't bother me it is just the lack of respect for personal boundaries. I think this is why I am so private as a person now.
Q: You almost gave up performing not long ago why?
A: Not getting that acceptance and I know I still don't at least not fully. I've heard some tell me hey I have a degree why am I even performing, but I do this because I love it and dance is my passion always has been. I know as well my style is "different" than most people and that is okay. I want to be the type of performer where everyone can enjoy my shows not just an older audience. I want to appeal to everyone and have shows for adults as well shows where parents would feel comfortable bringing their children under 18.
Q: What is with the Dita von Teese comparisons add pressure?
A: most definitely. I know I still have to grow as a performer and not afraid to take those risks and part of being a performer is taking risks personally and artistically will never grow as a person or any other way. So yes, it is pressure but I want to be my own version of myself.
Q: How is it dating and being a performer?
A: it is hard, um my last relationship [if want to call it that] ended because he didn't want to deal with the "spotlight" and he was at a place where he wanted a more "serious" lifestyle and that is okay. Dating is difficult in general and especially being a performer some people just cannot handle it and then there are trust issues because never know who is there for really you or what they think you can do for them etc and it doesn't matter how long you've known a person I have learned. New friends have been much better than the old ones here lately.
Q: Let's talk about the hate you've been getting last several months over your romantic life?
A: Honestly, I don't know where that all came from. I think it's because I performed to a couple of his songs [Bieber] and people started making assumptions. I actually wasn't aware until people were coming up to me and asking "hey, heard this rumour from twitter" and remember thinking "um, okay" because I hardly discuss my personal life and especially who I am dating. But yea, seeking out my social media and just being disrespectful is uncalled for. Getting hate actually doesn't bother me because I tend to block out negativity like that and as long as I am happy and he's happy who necessarily cares? I do however think people make more out of getting the hate especially being involved with him not sure if it's just attention or what but I don't think it's something to make yourself a "martyr" of sorts out of. People just don't like you personally, that happens it's life and probably more people don't care about it just small amount who say some things via social media sites but that's it. I am willing to bet 9 out of 10 people would care less. But I think age has much to do with it as well, and not just physical but emotionally too. It is a very young fanbase and nothing wrong with that at all. Burlesque tends to have a much older fanbase so the rationale is quite different. But I do think when you're 14-17 relationships and the complexities of those are viewed so much differently than when let's say you're mid 20s and older.It's just life experiences that's all.
Q: You also say that the hate you were getting over him did not come from people you expected?
A: True. I was actually expecting to get hate from his fanbase because at first I literally thought that is where it was coming from but it was actually the burlesque community and people my age group which isn't that much older than Bieber's so yea that was shocking. It's like we're old enough you don't have to like my music choices or me as a performer but at least respect me. But in reality Beliebers have been the coolest to me and I have the utmost respect for them and honestly I would defend them to the moon and back.
Q: So guess the question is...are you?
A: Even if the answer is no I would not discuss it publicly, it's just how I am. I will say that I think it is flattering just because I think he has the hugest heart of anyone I know. He is also a brilliant musician and in general a wonderful man. I think people are harder on him way more than what is necessary and it really isn't fair. He's basically a male version of me he's different and that's okay nothing wrong with that at all. I am glad he is coming into his own person and seeing him develop as an artist it's great. But to answer that I just don't discuss it either way. The focus should be on his music and the focus should be on my dancing.
Q: You don't see yourself performing forever no?
A: Actually, I don't. I am actually hoping to be a Mum and a wife eventually; and, if it comes down to it I want to not necessarily give up but perform less depending upon the relationship which is why I am performing as much I am now. I just want to be a hands on type of Mum and be a wife to my husband when I get one. Yes, I am independent but I also have a domestic side too you can be in a relationship or married and still have independence.
Q: Future projects?
A: I think eventually I could see myself designing costumes, etc. possibly but I would love to put more time into my humanitarian work and projects so something along those lines as well.
Q: Favorite album?
A: all time the Divine Comedy by Milla. It's so gorgeous and it deals with Ukrainian culture which I think is why the album did amazing in Europe it just kind of went whoop here haha. Having a father who was Serbian/Ukrainian a lot of the culture was there in the songs I loved it.
Q: What is your nationality?
A: My Dad was Serbian/Ukrainian and my Mum was Native American. I mean I was raised to appreciate both cultures and to be proud of where I came from and my heritages. It's so neat because feel have two of the coolest cultures within me and never want to forget that want to pass it on to my children.
Q: What languages do you speak hear you speak quite a few
A: I grew up speaking French and Russian so those two I know. I also speak Spanish and German as well can read Serbian.
Q: Favorite city?
A: I love Toronto and Canada in general. I also love Bangkok and Australia weather is great really looking forward to those places eventually.
Q: Your thoughts on Angelina Jolie?
A: I love Angelina she is one of my heroes she's also who I hope to be like when I "grow up". I can relate to her story quite a bit especially being that wild child streak definitely went through that phase and just growing as a person. She is definitely a fighter and she is not afraid to fight for what she believes in or loves and I'm the same way plus she's left handed as am I and from what I was told be both have our Moon in Aries sorry kind of an astrology junkie haha.
we're both thieving and it's okay
Lovedrug is one of my favourite bands and I remember them from several years back when they would hang out with my big brother [who was also a musician]. Michael Shepard was always an amazing songwriter, at least I thought so but this song is amazing as well it inspired the novel the Awakening, so very cool.
and I know there is a specific person who is out there thieving...and I know he's creeping too, it's perfectly okay I really don't mind because he can creep and thieve as much as he wants.....
;-)
and I know there is a specific person who is out there thieving...and I know he's creeping too, it's perfectly okay I really don't mind because he can creep and thieve as much as he wants.....
;-)
Monday, September 9, 2013
what my life looks/sounds like right now.....
pretty much sums up my life right now
What an amazing time
What a family
How did the years go by?
Now it's only me
Tick tock
Tick tock
Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car
A scary conversation,
Shut my eyes, can't find the brake
What if they say that you're a climber?
Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone
Who really cares 'cause it's your life
You never know, it could be great
Take a chance 'cause you might grow
What you waiting for?
Tick tock
Tick tock
Take a chance you stupid whore
Like an echo pedal, you're repeating yourself
You know it all by heart
Why are you standing in one place?
Born to blossom, bloom to perish
Your moment will run out
'Cause of your sex chromosome
I know it's so messed up how our society all thinks (for sure)
Life is short, you're capable (uh huh)
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting for?
I can't wait to go
Back and do Japan
Get me lots of brand new fans
Osaka, Tokyo
You Harajuku girls
Damn, you've got some wicked style...
GO!
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid whore
What you waiting for?
What a family
How did the years go by?
Now it's only me
Tick tock
Tick tock
Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car
A scary conversation,
Shut my eyes, can't find the brake
What if they say that you're a climber?
Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone
Who really cares 'cause it's your life
You never know, it could be great
Take a chance 'cause you might grow
What you waiting for?
Tick tock
Tick tock
Take a chance you stupid whore
Like an echo pedal, you're repeating yourself
You know it all by heart
Why are you standing in one place?
Born to blossom, bloom to perish
Your moment will run out
'Cause of your sex chromosome
I know it's so messed up how our society all thinks (for sure)
Life is short, you're capable (uh huh)
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting for?
I can't wait to go
Back and do Japan
Get me lots of brand new fans
Osaka, Tokyo
You Harajuku girls
Damn, you've got some wicked style...
GO!
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid whore
What you waiting for?
Sunday, September 8, 2013
respect privacy please. from my personal tumblr
For quite some time now I have been debating whether to write something on my tumblr [because this is more like my diary now] but it seems there has been the ever struggle with my personal life and people here wanting to discuss it. I also know that growing up within a relatively famous family I am rather used to dealing with all of these things but even for me it is difficult and like everyone entitled to privacy but the general point of all this is...what is it anyone's business regardless for? And this is primarily talking to those who have been making a rather large deal out of it for the longest and which I have been basically ignoring for the longest.
First of all, I don’t even know where this all started and to be honest I really don’t care; but why over these past few months I have been getting some of the most cruel hate than anyone could possibly imagine? Sure, I can understand if you don’t like my taste in music or the same artists but why would someone take the time go to someone else’s twitter/facebook and make out right hateful comments with no reasoning behind it?
Also, I never discuss my personal life publicly and everything is generally assumed; there is no reason for me to write all over twitter if I am seeing someone or who I hang out with and if I don’t do these things I am constantly called “fake” and “delusional”. Yes, my elder brother was a professional musician as was my Mum, but I never felt the need to write all over the internet all of the things they’ve done. I was always raised to be humble my sisters, brother and I were at least. One reason I adore my brother he never walked around like he was the lead guitarist of a band he was just himself he lived life and treated everyone fairly…isn’t that how it is supposed to be?
First of all, I don’t even know where this all started and to be honest I really don’t care; but why over these past few months I have been getting some of the most cruel hate than anyone could possibly imagine? Sure, I can understand if you don’t like my taste in music or the same artists but why would someone take the time go to someone else’s twitter/facebook and make out right hateful comments with no reasoning behind it?
Also, I never discuss my personal life publicly and everything is generally assumed; there is no reason for me to write all over twitter if I am seeing someone or who I hang out with and if I don’t do these things I am constantly called “fake” and “delusional”. Yes, my elder brother was a professional musician as was my Mum, but I never felt the need to write all over the internet all of the things they’ve done. I was always raised to be humble my sisters, brother and I were at least. One reason I adore my brother he never walked around like he was the lead guitarist of a band he was just himself he lived life and treated everyone fairly…isn’t that how it is supposed to be?
Now, I am also getting and have been for some time “hate” over who I am supposedly “dating”. You know, even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t discuss it because what business is it of anyone else except for me and him?And I am just here for my dancing, nothing else.
Yes and to be honest I think it is completely flattering because I think Justin is brilliant as a musician [and talented] and he has the hugest heart of anyone I have ever seen and yes, I would be totally open to the idea of it.
I also think that because I tend to be more private about my personal life it leaves it wide open so people think they can say and do whatever they want and I wouldn’t say anything about it. I think he is entitled to a personal life just as much as I am and as I said before, even if it is no I just wouldn’t answer that because what is the purpose of constantly answering that question?
Yes and to be honest I think it is completely flattering because I think Justin is brilliant as a musician [and talented] and he has the hugest heart of anyone I have ever seen and yes, I would be totally open to the idea of it.
I also think that because I tend to be more private about my personal life it leaves it wide open so people think they can say and do whatever they want and I wouldn’t say anything about it. I think he is entitled to a personal life just as much as I am and as I said before, even if it is no I just wouldn’t answer that because what is the purpose of constantly answering that question?
I think people around here get all into because I’ve choreographed/performed a couple routines to his music so people automatically assume things; honestly I could walk into a room and say I like green peas and people would take it the wrong way. This is actually a lesson I learned [believe it or not] from my ex boyfriend about being responsible about what we post online and what we say/do affects other people. Beforehand, I never really thought about things in that light but it is true.
So yea, what people say to me does affect me I am a person with feelings but what actually surprises me is where the hate is coming from and it is not from the people you would expect it to come from; and that is all I am going to say on that topic.
Basically bottom line, no matter who I am dating or not should be between me and that person. I’ve never been the one to post all over twitter or facebook “hey, I’m talking to this person” or essentially bragging about it…that really isn’t my thing. I also think it is something that people would eventually know or not and what is so wrong with me wanting to have some privacy with my relationships? I have guys who are good friends just as I have girls who are good friends. If I am into someone romantically those closest to me would know and obviously he would know…but what is the point of blasting it all over the internet?
So do I like him? Yes, very much so would I date him…absolutely. Anything other than that should be private ya know? And honestly, I have no idea where he [Justin Bieber] is with his personal life, I don’t pry into someone’s personal life and I don’t do the Da Vinci Code all over twitter trying to figure someone out. I just feel at least around here it is getting out of control [where I’m at] but like I mentioned is it flattering most definitely because he is an amazing person, but I am just going to leave my personal life just that…private. I also hope that people would be supportive of whomever I choose to date and thankfully most people have been so respectful of my privacy and cannot be grateful enough for that.
So for now on when people ask me about all that I am just going to leave it as private because I feel a relationship of any kind should be between two people and I know from previous experience dating someone who is a celebrity it can be difficult time maintaining privacy and think learning from my past mistakes and apply them to the future. And honestly me writing about this now is a big stretch for me, and know it frustrates people but I am just in general a very private person especially in relationships and like I said even yes or no…just not going to go there….
So yea, what people say to me does affect me I am a person with feelings but what actually surprises me is where the hate is coming from and it is not from the people you would expect it to come from; and that is all I am going to say on that topic.
Basically bottom line, no matter who I am dating or not should be between me and that person. I’ve never been the one to post all over twitter or facebook “hey, I’m talking to this person” or essentially bragging about it…that really isn’t my thing. I also think it is something that people would eventually know or not and what is so wrong with me wanting to have some privacy with my relationships? I have guys who are good friends just as I have girls who are good friends. If I am into someone romantically those closest to me would know and obviously he would know…but what is the point of blasting it all over the internet?
So do I like him? Yes, very much so would I date him…absolutely. Anything other than that should be private ya know? And honestly, I have no idea where he [Justin Bieber] is with his personal life, I don’t pry into someone’s personal life and I don’t do the Da Vinci Code all over twitter trying to figure someone out. I just feel at least around here it is getting out of control [where I’m at] but like I mentioned is it flattering most definitely because he is an amazing person, but I am just going to leave my personal life just that…private. I also hope that people would be supportive of whomever I choose to date and thankfully most people have been so respectful of my privacy and cannot be grateful enough for that.
So for now on when people ask me about all that I am just going to leave it as private because I feel a relationship of any kind should be between two people and I know from previous experience dating someone who is a celebrity it can be difficult time maintaining privacy and think learning from my past mistakes and apply them to the future. And honestly me writing about this now is a big stretch for me, and know it frustrates people but I am just in general a very private person especially in relationships and like I said even yes or no…just not going to go there….
Q & A [answering and clearing up some things]
I haven't done any Q & As for a long while because was getting mostly the questions from my ask.fm account and of course what is messaged to me or what I receive via twitter; but, as of late have to admit the questions have been kind of inappropriate :-/ I don't mind answering questions and talking to people/ pagers and as always I am the type of person who is going to be 110% honest and if something is uncomfortable or I just feel it is too private I will generally say so, but overall thank you to everyone as always for the kind words and messages/tweets I am so grateful for all of the support and still keep questions coming though love getting to know people xoxo
Q: What age did you start dancing?
A: I started dancing at the age of 6 after my Mum took me to see Giselle. I remember when I saw it I looked at my Mum and told her I was going to do that and been dancing ever since.
Q: How did you end up as a burlesque dancer?
A: as mentioned before dance has always been a huge part of my life and always will be. My Mum was a performer [musician] professionally I would travel with my family to Las Vegas I would sneak and watch shows I always thought the dancers were so glamorous and beautiful. And being a dancer now I know loads of girls who are burlesque dancers so one talked me into it but mainly I would kind of help out and choreograph routines so once I was asked figured why not and go for it. I'll try anything once.
Q: You mentioned about getting hate because you don't do nudes or be extremely risque when performing how does that feel?
A: At first it was really and I mean REALLY difficult. Especially when you respect other people as artists and performers then that respect isn't given back it does make it very hard and finding support in this business; it's almost expected of women to drop your pants to people to get ahead and that just isn't me. I work hard if not harder than a lot of people and I just feel as if seeing me [nude] should be for whomever I am dating or decide to be involved with. Like I said before I started modeling when I was 14 and never did nudes but each person has to make that decision for her or himself.
Q: Everyone is talking about your newest number you choreographed/performed "The Enemy" story behind it?
A: it was my response to all of the negativity I had been getting. The song itself tells a wonderful story and it was just trying to convey that emotion via dance and so far people have been getting that and I am so grateful for it. It does mean so much when people tell me that they can relate to that number it's something I hope with my dancing is finding something everyone can relate to.
Q: Which do you like more dancing or nursing and how did you become a nurse?
A: Well, my Mum made me promise I would go to school and earn a degree or do something before pursuing a performing career, I ended up in nursing. I love helping people and taking care of people so think it fit for me.
Q: People don't realize you've accomplished a lot and worked with a lot of big people as far modeling goes and at such a young age.
A: looking back at it and even now I've never been the type of person who was all over twitter, facebook etc screaming hey I did this I just thought of it as doing what everyone else did. Now, I do occasionally think to myself that yea really done this like I really really did this. Hopefully I can tell my children one day never know!
Q: Favorite time period fashion?
A: I love old school Hollywood like the Great Gatsby, or pin up it is more my personality and style. I love the vintage glamour and I honestly think I was born in the wrong decade...say it all the time but it is true.
Q: Who is your celebrity crush?
A: hmmm I don't really have one to be honest!
Q: Do you have a boyfriend?
A: I get asked this a lot...but it's private for now just hoping and keeping the focus on dancing at the moment.
Q: What age did you start dancing?
A: I started dancing at the age of 6 after my Mum took me to see Giselle. I remember when I saw it I looked at my Mum and told her I was going to do that and been dancing ever since.
Q: How did you end up as a burlesque dancer?
A: as mentioned before dance has always been a huge part of my life and always will be. My Mum was a performer [musician] professionally I would travel with my family to Las Vegas I would sneak and watch shows I always thought the dancers were so glamorous and beautiful. And being a dancer now I know loads of girls who are burlesque dancers so one talked me into it but mainly I would kind of help out and choreograph routines so once I was asked figured why not and go for it. I'll try anything once.
Q: You mentioned about getting hate because you don't do nudes or be extremely risque when performing how does that feel?
A: At first it was really and I mean REALLY difficult. Especially when you respect other people as artists and performers then that respect isn't given back it does make it very hard and finding support in this business; it's almost expected of women to drop your pants to people to get ahead and that just isn't me. I work hard if not harder than a lot of people and I just feel as if seeing me [nude] should be for whomever I am dating or decide to be involved with. Like I said before I started modeling when I was 14 and never did nudes but each person has to make that decision for her or himself.
Q: Everyone is talking about your newest number you choreographed/performed "The Enemy" story behind it?
A: it was my response to all of the negativity I had been getting. The song itself tells a wonderful story and it was just trying to convey that emotion via dance and so far people have been getting that and I am so grateful for it. It does mean so much when people tell me that they can relate to that number it's something I hope with my dancing is finding something everyone can relate to.
Q: Which do you like more dancing or nursing and how did you become a nurse?
A: Well, my Mum made me promise I would go to school and earn a degree or do something before pursuing a performing career, I ended up in nursing. I love helping people and taking care of people so think it fit for me.
Q: People don't realize you've accomplished a lot and worked with a lot of big people as far modeling goes and at such a young age.
A: looking back at it and even now I've never been the type of person who was all over twitter, facebook etc screaming hey I did this I just thought of it as doing what everyone else did. Now, I do occasionally think to myself that yea really done this like I really really did this. Hopefully I can tell my children one day never know!
Q: Favorite time period fashion?
A: I love old school Hollywood like the Great Gatsby, or pin up it is more my personality and style. I love the vintage glamour and I honestly think I was born in the wrong decade...say it all the time but it is true.
Q: Who is your celebrity crush?
A: hmmm I don't really have one to be honest!
Q: Do you have a boyfriend?
A: I get asked this a lot...but it's private for now just hoping and keeping the focus on dancing at the moment.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
write hope [september 26]
Every year for the last 4 years I helped to start something called "write hope" the whole purpose was for people to literally write the word "hope" on their arm, hand, wherever to show support against bullying, ovarian cancer, PCOS, depression...basically whatever a person was struggling with in life. The goal was to show others that there is support, love and "hope" out there in the world and that we're not alone out there in the world that there are other people fighting with us for whichever reasons we may have.
I started it on my birthday September 26 as a way to show support for women's health issues a cause I had been advocating for since 2006 last year was the biggest yet and every year I am so amazed and blessed as to how many people have sent photos of this event so yes it continuing on this year and always will.
So remember the date September 26, be sure to hashtag on twitter #writehope and a FB event page is coming soon over the next few days.
much love always,
natalie
I started it on my birthday September 26 as a way to show support for women's health issues a cause I had been advocating for since 2006 last year was the biggest yet and every year I am so amazed and blessed as to how many people have sent photos of this event so yes it continuing on this year and always will.
So remember the date September 26, be sure to hashtag on twitter #writehope and a FB event page is coming soon over the next few days.
much love always,
natalie
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