What people don't realise is that not too long ago I had to make a choice which guess some would say is crucial. I was literally torn between performing full time or remain in nursing which is something I went to school for and is something my parents made me and my brother/sisters do if we ever chose to go that path. Both of my parents were exceedingly creative and talented so yea I grew up on the road a lot, been around performers and musicians. Actually, I feel more comfortable being around creatives and musicians it's all I've ever known but at the same time I am drawn to a "normal" life and for me that is nursing. I love helping people and taking care of me it gives me a life purpose not saying can't accomplish the same with performing because you can no doubt; I love having a "normal" job because it provides me with that balance as well keeps me grounded and humble about life. Unfortunately, I've seen so many people get sucked into the negative in performing [you know the Black Swan effect] and really do not want that to be me at some point. It is so easy to go down a negative path being a performer because everything gets thrown at you, women [or men], drugs, etc etc. and if you don't have people around you keeping it real can very easily get off track. It is one reason I am very selective about the circle I keep around me and what I ultimately do as well trust issues because people will lead you down a wrong path just to see a person screw up.
Guess it is because I had to grow up super fast because I grew up in the business. Ultimately, I don't want to chase "fame" to me there is no fame, just people like everyone else to where all the things get magnified in the media. As far modeling goes everything I do is for charity/humanitarian efforts, I am not seeking to make profits off of it of any kind except for what is donated.
Does the lifestyle bother me? No because I am used to it it doesn't phase me. I can't be bought and material things aren't that important to me. If I like someone it's because of the kind of heart he has, if I am your friend it is because of how you are as a person.
I do love having that creative outlet as I did study dance in school so why not do something I enjoy and love especially working in the kind of nursing I work in it is crucial to have a healthy outlet and for me I've always been comfortable expressing myself in a creative way...and there is nothing wrong with that.
So yea that is who I am...maybe I am meant to be in between both "worlds" and that is okay too. If anything someday I hope to be a Mum and be with a guy I adore all the other things are just perks. I think I am so much like my big brother in so many ways...he had such an amazing music career yet he worked as a systems analyst, it's a balance thing....and it is okay to have balance.
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