Natalie Page was seen leaving her doctor's office late Monday morning after what has been a confirmed case of the flu all before she is set to perform this Friday in the pre New Years show. No word yet if she is still slated to perform but sources close to Ms. Page haven't made indication that she has plans to back out of the show on Friday...will keep everyone posted. Meanwhile in other news Ms. Page's best friend (and supermodel) Diana Avocado has been spotted in New York by paparazzi leaving the gym with her bodyguard she is scheduled to walk the runway in spring collections soon. Even though both ladies have extremely busy schedules the two made plans for a ladies night for New Years which is fueling the post split rumors with Genius Without whom Ms. Page was thought to have a romance with. Meanwhile, Mr. Without was spotted once again with fitness model going Christmas shopping...guess that explains it all! Ms. Page is going to have a busy 2013 a head of her as she does her annual fall runway show, also she is scheduled for an event in early February. So will see if Cupid comes to visit her once and for all!
*okay it has been a VERY long time since I've written one of these, but my friends and I used to write these all the time basically we're making fun of what goes on in our world more or less...tabloid style. The objective was to show how outrageous tabloids and general public can be with events, stories, and the like. I stopped doing these for a long time but we thought it would be funny to bring them back. It's called the "dirty socialite" because we're basically socialites so it is making fun of our world or basically...our way to find humour in things.
Last night dancer and choreographer Natalie Page was seen shopping in the grocery store without makeup! She went to the small market (where she frequents) to purchase what looked like potato chips, ice cream and pizza. It all sounds like break up food as the dancer has recently called quits with professional body trainer Genious Without a few months ago. Apparently, Genious has quickly moved on with fitness model Marble Clout and the pair seemed to be very cozy while on their trip in the Caribbean meanwhile Natalie was seen back in the States working on her production of her new shows. And she has been a busy bee! She was recently added to the New Year's Eve performance this year...the first for the performer. No words yet as to whether she will arrive solo or with a new beau...only time can tell! Ms. Page was also seen having a girls night with her friends, supermodel Diana Avocado and Danoor Lilles where the three danced into wee hours in the morning. So this definitely confirms she is now single and quite certain there are many happy gentleman out there!!! In other news, Ms. Page is also in a sparring match with singer Also Many due when the singer quest hosted local television show in which she asked Ms. Page about her current dating woes. As we all know Ms. Page tends to be quite private with her romantic life so the questions hit a little too close for comfort! Let's just say don't expect the two ladies to collaborate soon.
While running music and choreography tonight I came across this song by Tori Amos off her Scarlet's Walk album. It reminds me of the infamous "Scarlet's Walk" I took some time ago but also reminds me of whenever I am in LA. The song talks a lot about LA and driving to and through the city so it brings back so many memories for me. It actually makes me a little homesick because I grew up in between California and Texas. So yes...I need to make my way back to LA very soon.
Q: What do you think is people's biggest pet peeve about you? A: I'm too private. Like seriously, I am an open person just not about everything. It drives people nuts alot of the times. I mean who I'm with, involved with etc etc should be between myself and not all of twitter, facebook, etc etc. So yea people find out things and will ask "um had no clue xyz" yea because it didn't make it online haha. Annoying to some but yes I am a privacy whore. That and most people think I am shy but really I can be loud, obnoxious and a prankster. It just depends how well I know people. Q: Explain Scarlet's Walk? A: Scarlet's Walk is in reference to a road trip I made with my big brother and his band out to Las Vegas. The trip had significance because just shortly after that show they were signed to Sony's indie label. I was and still am very proud of him and his band for that accomplishment (who are also my surrogate big brothers) and I just have a super close friendship with all of them, they are my heroes. So it is remembering an amazing period of our lives. Scarlet's Walk is also the name of a Tori Amos album in which she wrote about her experiences on a road trip from the East Coast to LA, and those who know me well enough (pagers) I make alot of references to Tori Amos and her music. Q: Please explain the tweeting in codes...most people have no clue where your head is at? A: HA! Get that a lot but people who know get it (pagers). It just happens. I think it has to do with privacy and not having everyone figuring things out. Don't know actually Fendish started with my big brother it was our own made up language friends caught on haha. Q: Your big brother (and embassy) influences you quite a bit? A: Yes. They always have. I mean they are all so incredibly talented, big hearted, amazing individuals and so fortunate to know all of them and call them my big brothers. They're not perfect I know that they're human but nonetheless I adore each and every one of them regardless. I think when you have a family or people you love flaws are the least important things to worry about. I like to focus on the positive in people. Q: Favorite [embassy] song? A: All the Same. It didn't make it on their album but it's on their EP. I think the song represents who they are as people. Q: Favorite Tori Amos song? A: Spark. "she's afraid of the light in the dark...it's 6:58 are you sure where my spark is"? Q: Recording with Craig Smith who is he? A: there is a long standing joke that Craig Smith is for me what Neil Gaiman is for Tori Amos. Or as Craig once said a random person she gives shouts out to in songs (kind of true) but no he is a musician I collaborate with. Hoping to record my last EP with him end of January/February sometime. But he is an equally talented musician in his own right. Q: music, dance or modeling? A: I'm be like Milla Jovovich...do all three! but seriously eventually I just want to be a Mom :-D Q: Top 5 favorite albums? A: ouch tough one; okay here it goes: 1. the War of Art by [embassy] 2. the Divine Comedy by Milla Jovovich 3. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Sarah McLachlan 4. Loose by Nelly Furtado 5. From the Choirgirl Hotel by Tori Amos that really was a difficult decision my goodness!! Q: Favorite pig out food? A: pizza. I am so guilty!! Q: Favorite ballet? A: the Nutcracker or Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet
Q: Why Tori Amos? A: her music helped give me a voice when I didn't have one. I was bullied quite a bit in school (and still am) so listening to her music gave me an outlet that was positive to express what I was going through. Of course now when I hear her music the songs have slightly different meanings just because I am different now than when I was 13. I've experienced a lot at a young age and still young and still learning about life but some moments have changed somewhat.
Most have seen me mention "Scarlet's Walk" before and it is in reference to the same album title by Tori Amos. From what I have read about the album is that it chronicles Tori's experience in a road trip from NY area out to LA. This is significant for me because the album has become sort of a staple point for when I road tripped with [embassy] out to Las Vegas for which turned out to be a very important performance. Those who know the story well enough know it was shortly after that time that the guys were signed to Sony's independent music label. So afterwards that period of time (for me at least) has been known as "Scarlet's Walk" because of the idea of a road trip from East Coast to Las Vegas and for me it was a walk of sorts. It was an experience in which think none of us will ever forget. Do know, could not have been any more proud of my big brother and his band mates (who are also my surrogate big brothers) and will never forget the memories with the guys...and still completely proud of each and every one of them...my big brother will be forever missed but the memories of his music will forever live on and these experiences such as "Scarlet's Walk" will always treasure.
I cannot sleep tonight, but this song always helps. Personally, I recommend music by the talented Origa. For those who are unfamiliar she is a Russian singer whose music is often featured in video games and anime (Ghost in the Shell for example) but her songs are mostly recorded in either Japanese or Russian, this is one of my favourite songs by her, it's entitled "Lilika" so with this in mind going to try and get some sleep...have a long week/day ahead of me. much love, Nat <3
oh and here are the lyrics in Russian (transliterated)
Ya podaryu tebe...
Ty kahdii zvuk lovi... Ya podaryu tebe... Ty kak menya lyubi...
Vidish beile klavishi tam, Prikosnis' k nim, i uznacsh sam Chto eto novii mir, on l'yotsya rekoi Ya nazovu (ya nazovu) ego Muzykoi (Muzykoi) I my poplyvyom po reke uzhe vdvoyom
Ya podaryu tebe muzyku, Ty kahdii zvuk eyo lovi. Ya podaryu tebe muzyku, Ty kak menya eyo lyubi...
Ya otkroyu tebe vse tainy, Etot mir tak prekrasen V nyom naidyosh ty palitry krasok pechal'nyh
Ya podaryu tebe muzyku, Ty kahdii zvuk eyo lovi. Ya podaryu tebe muzyku, Ty kak menya eyo lyubi...
in English:
I will give you every soundDo you see the white keys thereTouch them and you will find out yourselfThat this is a new world, and it flows like a riverI will call (I will call) it Music (Music)And we will swim in the river togetherI will gift (give) you music Catch its every soundI will open (tell you) all the secretsThis world is so wonderfulThere you can find palette of sad colors*
these are some rules my big brother Trevor aka Captain Sweet himself, RIP.
1. Grow a beard 2. Learn a fake accent 3. Love to party 4. Build a fort 5. Compliment people on their shortcomings 6. High five, ALOT 7. Everybody has feelings 8. Be sweet at all times 9. Compliment women on what they are not wearing [haha, only Trevor] 10. Have reckless abandonment FUN!!
words of wisdom from Trevor...who will be forever in our hearts and remembered. October 23, 1980-December 3, 2012
Since I will be traveling next week for photo shoots, runway shows and filming a role for an indie film...decided to make a playlist of albums I plan to enjoy, and yes of course there will be some [embassy] on there. so here are the albums I will for sure be rocking out to:
My type of guy is: sweet, caring, funny, night owl, artistic, musician, gamer and isn't afraid to be himself!
I feel sexiest when I'm wearing: jeans, heels and red lipstick and typically a tank
I'm secretly terrified of: anything reptile eek!
My favorite body part is: my boobs
If modeling/dancing hadn't worked out I'd probably be: what I am now...a hospice nurse
I find it really hot when a guy: listens, is genuine and can make me laugh.
My tattoos are: representative of different aspects and moments in my life.
One day, I'd really like to: get married, have kids.
I'd most like to do a duet with: one of my best friends Mike Seminari from Now the Rabbit Has the Gun
The gutsiest thing I have ever done for love is: being in love period. It is always a gutsy experience being in love and risks involved.
The biggest difference between being sexy on stage and being sexy in the bedroom is: Whomever I am trying to be sexy for :-p
When I first get offstage after a show: I go in the back and thank every thing imaginable that I didn't trip walking down the runway or fall on my ass onstage haha.
Прежде всего я хотел бы поблагодарить всех, кто поддерживал меня, насколько музыки и исполнения. Я просто хочу, чтобы каждый и каждая из вас знает, что жизнь есть дар и я так благодарна за тех, кто приходит на наши концерты, а также поддерживала меня с первого дня. Никогда не сдавайтесь на ваши мечты, всегда верю, и всегда иметь в себе Не позволяйте никому говорить вам, что вы не можете ничего сделать, потому что я живое доказательство, что ничего и не может быть возможным. 2013 года будет наш год, и не позволяйте никому отговорить вас, потому что вы "другое" или не подходят, потому что вы делаете.Верят ... и надеюсь увидеть вас всех скоро и спасибо за веру в мои странности! много любви xoxo Натали
I am sitting writing these words and undoubtedly as many in the indie music world I am shocked and saddened by the tragic loss of Trevor S. Connor; lead guitarist for [embassy] and downplay. I first met Trevor almost ten years ago (and still cannot believe how young both of us were at the time, he's older than I am!) about 9 months after the death of my own Mum; it was at a very dark place in my life to which I completely owe not only Trevor but the other band members of [embassy] for saving my life. If it wasn't for music I would not be here to this day they (especially Trevor) looked after me as if I was their own little sister. Trevor was known as the rebel child, the artist, the dreamer we were similar spirits. I learned so much not only from him but all of the other guys they are all like my family. But please live everyday to the fullest and don't be afraid to chase dreams, live free, love as often and tell the people in our lives how much they mean to us because never know when that day on Earth is their last. Once again condolences to the Connor family and the indie music world lost a treasure. May you find peace Trevor and hopefully will see you again someday. Rest in peace big bro. your pesky little sis :-) xoxo
...well not that long but if I was to count since the day I was born it is close enough, no that I read once in a CD insert Strange Little Girls by Tori Amos [or it was close to that many years for some reason I am unable to remember] but here are some Q & As about dance, performing and the like, enjoy. much love, Nat. Q: When did you begin dancing? A: The age of 6. My Mum took me to see Giselle [ the ballet] for the first time. Right then I knew. I looked at her and said, " I am going to do this" sure enough ever since ballet has always been a part of my life, next to music.
Q: You talk some about your childhood and how you grew up not being normal...why? A: Well, no it wasn't "normal" honestly don't know what "normal" is. I grew up around musicians my whole life and even now performers, musicians are all I know and easier to relate to. "Normal" people are fascinating to me at times I feel like Harry Potter in a muggle world haha, but really I do. Musician's lifestyle is truly all I have ever known and think being the child of a musician Mum had a huge part of it. Q: When and what drew you into burlesque? A: It was by mere accident. I know quite a few people who are dancers and involved with burlesque. I would go watch my friends perform and thought [think] it is the coolest things. It's an art form like any style of dance and it is the way you present yourself on the stage that transcends into something amazing. Now that I am not dancing ballet as much but still love dancing so a friend suggested to go for it...so I did and absolutely love it.
Q: It's been asked already how do you feel about not going nude in burlesque? A: It isn't that I am not uncomfortable with my body by all means not at all. It was just a decision I made before jumping into burlesque. You can always give the illusion something is happening with the right choreography etc so it doesn't have to be always "hey look here" and just strip. As Dita Von Teese once said in an interview it is a classy way of going about it.
Q: Speaking of Dita...do you want to be the next Dita? A: I want to be the next Natalie Page :) What Dita has done/is doing is phenomenal in the burlesque world and she does inspire me greatly as a dancer and performer. Yet it is more creating my own identity and "character" if you want to call it that. I mean in the burlesque world she is the "Michael Jackson" it's too early for me yet but do love that people are somewhat making that comparison if you may because she is one of the people who inspires my performances her and Pina Bausch.
Q: You do speak alot on Pina Bausch...why? A: She completely revolutionized modern dancing and her choreography was so original and do want to bring some of her work into my own.
Q: You have spoken about not relating to the audience? A: Oh yea. I am afraid being a professionally trained dancer and with choreography mostly how I see it and how I was trained how is that going to interpret into a routine especially burlesque and will the audience understand what I am trying to express. That is where the challenge of choreography comes in because then have to try to get the audience to see your story through your eyes not always easy but can be done for sure.
Q: Which routines are personal for you? A: They all are. I think the most recent ones [ won't tell because surprising the Pagers] tell stories about my past relationships so yea it's personal.
Q: How has your romantic life play in how you choreograph or choose routines? A: Eh half and half. The most recent two are influenced by that area more or less purging myself from the past. I am at the point in my life where just letting all of that go move forward. I do choose songs which are personal to me so yes could say it does play a role in my life in the creative sense. I think as performers we create whatever it is that we know...and I hope that I can create nothing but positive things.
Q: What about when you "retire" from performing? A: I honestly think I will be 90 years old still trying to put on pointe shoes and dance ballet! But actually I would like to be a Mum someday. I want 6 kids have some biologically and adopt! Not joking!!
Yes. Please keep the questions coming and will try to answer as many as I can and update this as often as possible...but my schedule is going to become super hectic in the next couple weeks so please be patient as will be also working on humanitarian efforts just keep tweeting, DMing, etc etc. much love, Nat Q: Do you have a crush and if so who? A: yes...and the character in the Awakening Joseph is based on him. The end. No but really, I kind of don't like to publicly talk about that sort of thing...but I really do have a crush but then again I don't really "crush" people never really have but I have always liked someone. But also I cannot "like" a person or be interested in him romantically if it isn't a person I don't respect, admire and adore. Call me an odd duck but maybe I am ;-) But to answer in short yes, I do "like" someone...I am open to the idea if he is ;-) Q: What are your thoughts on burlesque? A: Long story short: I kind of "fell" into it. I didn't plan on it I am already a dancer and have been since the age of 6; however, I have many friends who perform burlesque so I always found it interesting...because it is an art form and it can be super amazing to watch (Dita Von Teese as an example) but personally I love it and I love being on stage and I love performing with my troupe. Q: How do you feel about not going nude at shows? A: That was a personal decision I decided to make before I entered the burlesque world because that is what most people expect you to do; but it is an art form huge difference. There is a way to perform a routine and give the impression without actually doing so; it is how all a routine is choreographed and performed. But I was hesitant because of the whole nude issue...I am not judging those who do...just me for my personal preference I chose not to and people are okay with it. Yes, I am sure there are some who aren't but hey that is their issue. Q: What do you like most? Ballet, modern dancing or burlesque? A: I will always be a ballerina. It is in my soul, my essence to be a ballerina. I will be 90 years old and still trying to put on pointe shoes and dance. It's true! I do love burlesque though I love being dramatic on stage and creating a fantasy...drawing people in and entertaining them so would say both ballet and burlesque. Q: The Dita Von Teese comparison? A: I love Dita...I think she is an amazing performer and like myself she has a background in ballet. But there is only one Dita...and I can only be Natalie Page :-) I don't like comparisons but she is someone I definitely look up to for sure. Q: Will you ever go nude? A: The only person I hope to see me nude is my crush! HA!! Q:Speaking of...who is it? A: Nope...not telling...people will have to guess. It really isn't that hard to figure out though LOL Q: You really grew up speaking French and Russian? A: ouais...bien sur! ;-) Q: What is Fendish? A: it is a made up language. It's pretty much anagrams/made up words, Irish slang, and Tori Amos lyrics thrown in. Q: Who would play you in a film? A: Why on Earth would they make a film about me?!?! I would say Marion Cotillard since apparently she is my doppleganger. Q: You really read comic books? A: I LOVE the Dark Knight series (yes, I am a closet dork) Q: What are your thoughts before going on stage? A: if my parents are watching and cheering know they are in spirit Q: Favorite Harry Potter character? A: Ginny Weasley. I am a lot like her. Q: So this crush...?? A: Haha! Okay I will give clues in Fendish...[maybe] but really I couldn't "crush" someone whom I didn't have the utmost respect and admiration for as well inspire me on a daily basis. Just leaving it at that :-) Q: The Awakening? A: Yes, it started as a journal to help me deal with a very public and painful break up. I then started creating characters etc and it eventually turned into a full novel...totally not intended. Will I publish it one day I've thought of it yea.
Even though most of my family is Europe we're still celebrating Thanksgiving Day and I don't post much about it but am so thankful for many things this year and past but here are some things that eternally grateful for. Just today learned that my non profit hit the 1,028 mark for followers; it may not seem like a big deal to some but ever since 2006 I became an advocate for promoting women's health so basically promoting healthy body images for young girls. Over that time have had the opportunity to meet and speak with exceptional young women and so honoured to be able to lecture and encourage young girls to never give up. Society can be hard enough on us already and the more we teach and spread love the more healthy [mentally] and physically we can become as a society. If anything I will continue to advocate for those who feel they do not have a voice and help spread the message that no matter what we are all beautiful and loved as well never alone. Thank you to anyone and everyone who has shared their story and continue to fight...never ever give up xoxo.
since the Q & As seem to be popular I will keep posting these and keep the questions coming guys (and girls). Q: Are you really afraid of flying? A: Yes! I am very much afraid to fly more than two hours...I become claustrophobic. Q: Are you truly a hospice nurse? A: Yes, I am. I promised my parents I would go to school and get a "normal" job before following in their footsteps.Think they wanted me to have something to fall back on...so now I can kind of balance the two I perform when I am not doing rounds at the hospital so basically I am here [home] for my "normal" job any other time away doing photo shoots or shows.
Q: What topics you won't discuss? A: My romantic life, politics and religion. Those are the three I feel are the most personal to me and I don't like to discuss my most personal life. If I am with someone sure people would know but that aspect of my life I tend to keep private.
Q: Are you single or dating someone? A: I am lingse :-)
Q: The coolest musician you've met? A: I would have to say...Michael Jackson although I was not very old...wish I was older so could have a full grasp of what I was experiencing though! My Mum wanted me to grow up on his music and sure enough I did...when I began dancing at the age of 6 he was one of the greatest influences I used to go in the basement for hours watching his videos learning dance moves. The second is Tiger Woods... even though he is not a musician he is still one of the coolest. I will never forget the email he sent about my Mum when she died it was very kind of him to do and to remember her and sure she would have appreciated that as well so despite what people say about him he will always have my respect and gratitude for that.
Q: Your background is in music...? A: Yes, I used to do PR and marketing for indie bands I do and don't regret it because I ended up putting my music career on the back burner but at the same time it was such a learning experience. Now can focus on my own performing career.
Q: What religion are you? A: I will be honest, I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian it's something I feel helps keeps me balanced especially in the performing world. I am not going to cram my beliefs down others' throat that isn't my place but for me yes spirituality is very important.
Q: Is true your Godfather is a priest and you seek his counsel before photoshoots, etc? A: Absolutely. He trusts my judgment which is awesome that he does but if there is something I find questionable I will ask him about it. But I will not be in photo shoots or perform anything I feel would be highly offensive...my motto is this: if it is something I am afraid to say or do in front of my Godfather I probably shouldn't do it!
Q: What was it like having a public break up with you know who? A: next question :-) but really it happened so long ago or it seems long ago now...that chapter is beyond over in my life. Yes, people will still ask me about it it just sucked having to go through your first major break up in front of everyone but I learned from it that relationship wasn't healthy...now I want something that is stable for sure. Q: Favorite pizza toppings? A: veggies!!!!
Q: Favorite season? A: Fall and spring.
Q: Biggest fear? A: snakes...they creep me out!! Q: You have a pet hamster? A: I do, her name is Ludmilla Elizabeth aka Liza. My spoiled fur baby! :-p
This is a scene from one of my favourite novels L'Amant (the Lover). I remember hiding in the library reading this in French; I thought this novel was always romantic yet tragic at the same time. I didn't get to see the film until I was much older (wasn't allowed and rightfully so) but I do have mixed reviews on the film itself but this is by far one of my most favourite scenes from it.
most of these questions from the Q & As are ones that are either tweeted, DM'ed to me, asked in other places, or from formspring. Q: What age did you begin modeling? A: I began modeling at the age of 14. My Mum was a professional runway model so pretty much everything about the fashion industry I learned from her...she even taught me how to work the catwalk! I remember I used to beg her to teach me after my school lessons...eventually she started teaching me haha. Although when I first began modeling I did more gothic high fashion which was something to distinguish me from my Mum but now find myself crossing over more to runway and glamour/pin up...I adore pin up the most because I am so fascinated with 1950s-1970s fashion. Q: What is your ethnicity? A: My Dad was Ukrainian and my Mum was Native American. However we were born in Thailand. I used to have an accent in fact, I refused to speak in class because I was bullied so much. I used to be and still am at times a little self conscious about how I sound. Q: How many siblings do you have? A: I have three older sisters and a brother, most of my family is still in Europe. Q: What is your favorite Justin Bieber song? A: not going to lie...I listen to One Love quite a bit so it would be that one!
Q: If you could date any celebrity who would it be? A: read above answer/question...leave it at that!
Q: Personal life you don't discuss because? A: It's my personal life. I know it annoys many because I do know I can be a very private person but not everyone needs to know everything. You can be open with people but still have boundaries about what to share. Sometimes also think it is a cultural aspect as well...I mean most places in Europe it is sort of rude to ask personal questions it doesn't mean it's wrong just a cultural aspect.
Q: Favorite color? A: hmmmm I really don't have one but I do wear purple, blue, gray and black alot. I like to wear earth tones mostly.
Q: Fashion influence? A: I LOVE designers from Eastern Europe!!! Valentin Yadushkin is an amazing designer. Here in the states I love local designers like Make Believe Monsters, Midnight Lady, anti Label, etc. I love local stores to find fashions.
Q: Favorite photographer you worked with? A: I would say Laura Dark. I was so intimidated at first because it was Laura Dark! But she was one of the nicest people one could ever meet...she is such an amazing photographer. One I would love to work with but haven't yet would be Todd Eko his photography is so unique. I've always been attracted to edgier and darker type of photoshoots mainly because it is so opposite of my personality.
Q: Vacation adventure or relaxing? A: well...if I was with a guy relaxing ha! But I love outdoors so things like picnics, skateboarding I love. I like adventures.
Q: Favorite shoes? A: converse so comfy and after wearing pointe shoes they feel amazing on my feet! But anything that is comfortable is great for me.
Q: What is your "style"? A: I love to set trends believe it or not! I normally don't wear what everyone else does...but there are three things I think any girl/woman should have: kick ass red lipstick, heels, and jeans. Anything else is a matter of creativity! :-)
So the other day I had a very interesting conversation with some random guys (which was completely unexpected by the way) and the conversation started with the word "swag" and of course their comments were "yea real men don't say 'swag'" etc. etc. mind you these are men one could classify as "juice boxes" you know the gym buffs. Now, people are entitled to their opinions on certain things but here is where it became personal for me...my choice in type of men I find attractive (well one in particular more than anything) and of course the juice boxes are unable to comprehend why I wouldn't go for any of them...well for one superficiality is a major point for me. Really, I don't like the real buff men or the ones who constantly live in the gym, sorry but just not something I would go for. In all honesty, if I did go for a guy it would be someone who has an incredible sense of humour (because one is a necessity to be around me), who is extremely kind and is willing to show compassion towards others.Also someone whom inspires me and can learn from as well have utmost respect for. I could write this blog forever and a day about my feelings on this but long story short...I am not afraid to defend my choices for what I like and would do so again a million times over...proudly. Sorry Mr. Juice Boxes LOL So I guess most girls want guys who look like this? But really...my preference is this:
**the official track listing for the EP "My Turn to Speak"**
"I Wouldn't" "To Tell You" "Elsewhere" (Sarah McLachlan cover) "My Turn to Speak" "Romeo + Juliet"
basically this was something I began working on as a way to deal with a very public break up almost three years ago...however the first and last songs are recent and were written the other day :-) so hopefully will finish recording this soon...
Q: When is your birthday? A: September 26. My name day is March 1. Name Day is an Eastern Orthodox Christian tradition...we celebrate also the day in which the saint we're named after. Mine is Antonina (my Ukrainian/Slavic name). Q: Favorite city? A: Chicago. Love love Chicago...I also love the local music scene in Chicago so amazing. I miss places like Wise Fools and Elbo Room for live shows, best times ever. Another one is Toledo...they make me feel like such a celebrity people will ask for autographs, photos etc. it's so cool. I could care less either way but think it is so neat how friendly people are there.
Q: Favorite type of music? A: I will listen to just about anything, my mp3 player will go from Tyga to Autumn McEntire to Staind pretty eclectic lol.
Q: Favorite holiday? A: Halloween. I mean it's like Christmas for grown ups. But really my favourite is Pascha (Easter), celebrating Slavic Easter is so amazing.
Q: Time of day? A: night owl...not a morning person at all not going to lie.
Q: How deal with bullies growing up? A: It was so difficult. School was very hard for me...my Mum always encouraged me to write or do something creative which I did started writing around 13 or 14. In the past years it helped me deal with alot...when I lost both my parents writing definitely became an outlet for sure; I had alot of anger as a result so kind of acted out some...I've calmed down quite a bit.
Q: How to deal? A: having creative outlets really helped me cope. I mean I would be in a super dark place right now in life if didn't have those outlets. I think we all have the potential for positive and negative but we need to feed the positive more no one is perfect by any means.
Q: Thoughts on modeling/dancing? A: dance has been a part of my life since the age of 6. I remember my Mum took me to see Giselle and right then I knew dancing was for me been doing it ever since. Modeling started at 14 but my parents were so protective and they had every right to be. I am actually glad things are happening for me now that I am older because looking back wouldn't have been able to handle most things as now.
Q: Boys? A: I like them. I don't believe in having types...it limits us I think at least. If trying to ask if I like someone then yes...but at the same time I don't do the whole gushy stuff. Mean, if things happen they happen. I don't drool over guys really never have. It's not that not interested just feel like if he notices me he'll take the initiative. It's how I approach dating in general, it shouldn't be forced...
Q: okay, so dating? A: I mean...my last relationship kind of just ended. We had a really great relationship and learned alot from that experience. I learned that just because a relationship is great does not mean it's forever. I feel like maybe this was just preparation for the person I am supposed to be with we never know. We're still pretty much friends and are on good terms just we outgrew one another and ended up wanting different things. It happens, just pick up the pieces and move on with life.
Q: Is it true that in the Awakening two of the characters are based on celebrities and one of them you actually like? A: yes...Damien who is based on Michael Fassbender. Saw him in Jane Eyre which was amazing and is one of my favourite novels. Joseph not really saying but those close to me know and yea...if he is available can definitely look me up haha. But really, I wrote it to deal with my break up that is how I deal, write things and let it go kind of like purging negativity in my life.
Q: Spotlight? A: I don't need it to be content with life. I mean kind of grew up in it so it was never a driving force in my life I am just happy hanging out with my best friends and us being total goofballs because that is how we roll. Am I comfortable in it possibly...mean honestly celebrities aren't different than anyone else it's just what they do is magnified, but I do know quite a few people who constantly and will do almost anything to be in it...and that isn't me and nothing wrong with it just not me. I have my own career now in nursing so that makes me happy but growing up in it somewhat it does make relating to "normal" people difficult. I mean I do perform but that is more of me cultivating joy so to speak, but last week had someone tell me that performers just understand other performers better so I need to date another performer. Is he right...absolutely but hey I've always been known to do things on my terms and no one else's...there is no strict definition for being normal. Do I need the attention no way. Like with my twitter I don't have a gazillion followers but do know that loads read it which is why I make attempts to be responsible about what I post because it may not appear on my twitter but I do hear about it later haha.
Many people will ask me if I have a "day job" and the answer is yes, I do. Why? Most of it has to do with my parents because I promised my Mum before she died that before I pursued anything in the entertainment industry, I would at least earned some sort of training (honestly, she didn't care what it was as long as it was something I enjoyed and paid me well enough). So, this is why I now work as a nurse and not only that I love helping people and honestly think that just being caring and nurturing is second nature to me and honestly, I truly love it more than anything. I do work as a hospice nurse however and those days can be very difficult to handle especially when see that person every single day and then suddenly he or she may be gone. It is also one reason I try to make people laugh and smile as much as possible because with my experiences that may be the only kindness that person will know in the last moments of his or her life. So yes, I promised both of my parents before they died I would finish up with school and admittedly it is difficult being so young and having to deal with all of what I see at work and maybe this is why I love performing because it helps give me an outlet in a creative way to deal with everything we see at work. Just recently, lost a patient with whom I became close and it was difficult and going to be honest heartbreaking. Life is so precious and just want to make certain in some small way that everyone feels loved...people deserve that.
but this song reminds me of the patient I became close to and think of them whenever I hear it.
pretty soon I will be recording with long time musician friend Craig Smith to work on my I am thinking will be my third and final EP appropriately titled, "my turn to speak" ; it is a project in which has been almost two years in the making but overall the EP itself chronicles my relationship with lead guitarist of FNRP. I never have been one to discuss my personal life but when our relationship ended (which was my first serious romantic relationship) there was so much had to deal with publicly that should have in reality been able to deal with privately. Nonetheless, everyone will have their opinions and still do...some still associate me with him which is even more difficult so this EP is pretty much me telling my side of the story which never I discussed openly at least. It was also my way of dealing with all those emotions and now at a point in my life where moving on (or should say moved on long time ago) from that experience. If anything I learned that even though our relationship was really great it still didn't last and that was because sometimes people come into our lives to pass time and prepare for the person we ultimately spend our life with...and that happens. If anything I think it shows how much I have grown as a person, as an artist and as a musician with this next EP and it is because I have experienced so much more from then until now...so when the next person enters my life...I am ready!
Favourite candy: Twizzlers or the Welch's fruit snacks Favourite restaurant: Cantina on Park Street. I love love the fajitas and love to go dancing there later hehe. I am Texan I love my food okay?? haha
Favorite book: Jane Eyre and L'Amant. Both are so romantic yet tragic at the same time. Favourite subject: English and French literature
Favourite album: From the Choirgirl Hotel by Tori Amos
Favourite quote: "believe"
Favourite city: Chicago, LA and home San Antonio
Favourite season: fall
Favourite actor: Angelina Jolie (yes, I will fangirl her lol)
Favourite song: depends on my mood but One Love by Justin Bieber I play alot ;-)
Q: Would you rather lead or follow? A: I've always been a leader. If everyone went left I always went right. I never really went along with what everyone else did was always doing my own thing.
Q: Are you an artist? A: very much so. I grew up with two very creative and talented parents and my Mum especially always encouraged me to have artistic outlets that were positive. It was how I dealt with being bullied in school, etc. I would just go and write a song about my feelings it helped me get all of those emotions out, it still does. Q: Are you more like your Mom or Dad and why? A: Personality wise definitely my Mum. My Mum was the type of person she would give her last shirt to a complete stranger if she felt that person needed it more. It's just how she was. I think I am more like her as well in the sense being passionate about music and art. I am like my Dad in the sense where I could care less what people think of me...always made the decisions that were best for me and no one else. Honestly, I think I am like both of my parents but still my own person. Q: how many languages do you speak? A: 6. I grew up speaking French and Russian. I also can speak Spanish, German, Portuguese and Japanese. I can read Serbian, Macedonian and Ukrainian. Q: What is your secret weapon in life? A: Libra and Slavic charm ;-) Q: If you could date any celebrity who would it be? A:.......(purposely avoiding answering this) LOL
Q: Who is your favourite singer? A: Tori Amos. I fangirl her continuously. Her songs always seem to help give me a voice when I really don't have one at times. Q: Is there a story behind your name? A: Yes. If I had been a boy my parents were going to name me Justin believe it or not. But I turned out to be a girl. My real full name is Jessica Antonina. I changed it because I would go to model castings and someone would say "Jessica" and about 20 of us would always be like, well which one?? I also changed my last name because it kept getting butchered no one could pronounce it haha. So I started using Natalie Page because I adore Natalie Wood and Bettie Page as well Marilyn Monroe...some of my idols.
I am a firm believer that it is typically the things in our lives to which we do not expect are the ones that significantly change our lives; be it positive or negative it is our choice as to how we perceive things. Ever since 2006 I sort of became unexpectedly an advocate for women's health issues as well having the opportunity to lecture young women about body image, etc. This has been an amazing experience because sharing my own stories has in some ways (hopefully) helped many young women. I was raised early on to be comfortable with myself and in my own skin but being bullied (and believe it or not still to this day I am bullied) has taken its toll over the years. My mission was and still is to let young women know that they do not have to be a size 0-2 and blonde just to be considered beautiful and I felt it even more being half Native American; I was always made to feel less than beautiful because of that. Over time came to realize that sometimes people are afraid of what they really don't know or understand so it is easier to channel that energy into unfortunately negative outlets.Over time I began to channel my frustrations into positive outlets (even though it didn't begin that way). Looking back on it now it has helped me develop compassion for others in which don't think would have had that sense otherwise. So in December 2006 I began my own non profit organization to help educate young women about developing a positive body image as well information on how to stay fit and eat properly. I never within a million years would have expected the outcome of it and so thankful for what has come of it. Never expected to hear the stories of so many brave young women who have had similar experiences. All of these experiences drove me to begin my anti-bully campaign two years ago. It was also within this time that due to bullying one of my best friends committed suicide; it was one of the most difficult moments I had to experience which is another aspect of my humanitarian work is giving discussions on relational aggression (another form of bullying). If anything I would travel the world and bring awareness to these sorts of issues that especially affect our young women and how society interprets our role in society. Girls (and boys) who are bullied shouldn't feel as if they are alone in this world and it's one of things I hope even if it is in a small way to help others know that they aren't alone there is support.
All of my young adult life there have been only two musicians who have fully inspired me: Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber. No, I am not going to sit here and write a long fangirl letter (although to MJ I could write about 50 years worth which is more than double my age almost) but nonetheless even now people make fun of me for listening to Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber but do I care? Not one single bit; think majority of it was I always liked what I liked what others thought who really cared? But I remember Michael Jackson and he was the first musician I was able to see live believe it or not. Growing up with a musician Mum, I had been quite fortunate to meet many musicians and experience so much at such a young age, my first concert was probably right after I was born and it was my Mum's. Yet, it was also MJ who really stuck with me and I remember him being very quiet and shy and very polite; I loved him when I first heard his music at about the age of 6 it was also around that time I went to my first ballet and ever since music and dancing became a huge part of my life. There were so many memories associated with listening to MJ and I would go into the basement watch his videos and just dance for probably hours. Music and dancing was my escape from what was at the time a very difficult childhood. My parents divorced so I pretty much lived with my Mum especially when my Dad remarried, so my sisters and I hardly saw my Dad; it was okay (it wasn't) but music comforted me on so many ways, it also gave me my voice. In middle school I was diagnosed as an aspie and even now I feel like I am not "normal" and even at my age bullied, people make fun of me all the time because to them I am the "lonely girl". When my parents died I lost my voice and to be honest, it wasn't until I heard Justin's music that pretty much brought me back to life and in some ways he has taught me what it is to believe again. Before my Mum died those were her words to me that just to believe in myself, in my dreams, in my faith and that she will still be there to guide me no matter what. I didn't get to spend as much time on Earth with my parents as I had hoped but so thankful for what time I did get to spend with them and how much in such a short time they have taught me. If anything I want to give back during my time on Earth just as they have. Even now people make fun of me for being an orphan or not having much family, or an abundance of friends or the popular girl; yet, now when I listen to music I truly feel like a less lonely girl and know deep down in my heart I am one. My parents are still here and my Mum is right and so is Justin...miracles can happen if we just believe. xoxo
Last year on a crazy whim I decided to create an event on facebook and entitle it "write hope on your arm day" and designated the day the same as my birthday (September 26). I figured no one would respond nor care because first and foremost it was something no one had never heard of before until that day; however, I was so overwhelmed by the positive response of it that decided to do the event once again. The idea is to support mental health, PCOS and various other issues which affect women's health and to let women and men know they are not alone in battling these health issues. Ever since 2006 I have become an advocate for anti bullying, PCOS and mental health and it has been an eye opening experience and with my own issues letting people know they are not alone in this world and there is support out there and to never give up and to always believe. So for now on, every September 26 my birthday we write hope on our arms. Never give up always have hope and always believe <3 so here are some photos I received in honour of write hope on your arm day: (thank you all for sharing these)
Yes, there have been moments when people doubt me all the time. I was told quite regularly how ugly I am or told that I would never marry because I am not a blonde Barbie or was made fun of for being an orphan. I want to accomplish things just so I can prove everyone wrong who has ever doubted me in the past and still do. I want to be able to show the world that just because I have aspergers or I may be an orphan or may be Native American I can still be beautiful and still be loved. I want to be able to inspire other Native American girls so that they can have someone to look up to so they can say "look she's doing it, I can too". Nothing is out of reach and I feel every goal is obtainable as long as we believe in it, it can happen. So for all the kids out there who made fun of me...keep laughing because I am sure you won't be laughing before long, because it makes me even more determined to make it....
I am sitting here and so ready to just crawl under the bed and sleep. I feel exhausted and awful, but as my Mum always told me, "we still have to be professional and keep going. Push through it all even when we aren't feeling our best we have to still act like it". So I take that into heart whenever I feel not so great because sometimes we do have to push through it and keep going. Where the inspiration comes from at least for me can be simple as just wanting to curl up in bed and sleep for an afternoon (which as much as I am on the road and working it is a great idea!) But we are human too and deserve/need breaks. Like right now, just thinking about when Sunday comes around wanting to see the new Resident Evil film hehe...just little things like that motivate me for now. Do must admit love traveling because it feels as if it is an adventure and perhaps this was instilled in me as a child (we traveled alot when I was younger) so that constant need to be on the road suits me quite a bit. It does become tiring over time but getting to meet so many different people and see so many sites. I never wanted to be someplace just one place and not know about other parts of the world...that feels so limited. I have an adventurous spirit!
Nude or no nude? Yes, this is a topic I must address considering I am involved in a world which loves to show off women being nude or pretty close to it. It is something in which I deal with constantly and even passed up on modeling gigs and other events because I refuse to go nude; it was just a personal decision in which I made for myself because for me it isn't something I would like to do. No, it isn't because I have confidence issues it is more of a personal decision which I decided to make early on. Some people do have issues with it but most must also understand being an Orthodox Christian and being in this world can collide occasionally and this issue is something in which they do collide on many facets. The personal decision I made is not only culturally, but it is more respect of myself and my family and not to sound harsh but it is far easier and we do get paid much more quickly the sooner we take our clothes off. I feel being naked is something I would want to do with someone with whom I have a relationship with not the whole needs to see everything or know everything about us. I am appreciative of those who respect my wishes regarding this concept, and I am very open about sexuality but there are some things I choose to keep private and this is one of them. I also think our society has lost the idea of respecting and setting up boundaries. I am not expecting to be the cartoon candy girl forever, yet still there is a way to be sexy and feminine without going to the extreme to be raunchy ( I mean super duper) and being nude.
Music. It's one of my ultimate pleasures in life and it is something in which I grew up around my whole life. With my Mum everything was music, music and more music. I probably learned music before speaking (that may be drastic but slightly ever so true). When I have a very tough day, nothing is more relaxing than loading up my mp3 player to just listen to something anything happiest moments of my life are defined by music (even the saddest) and it is definitely one of the things I am most passionate about. So what does my playlist contain? Actually it does include my best friends ( Now the Rabbit has the Gun) whom I am proud to say have seen evolve as musicians and as people, my surrogate big brothers. They are so talented and can always know what their music is about. Yet overall, my music tastes vary by my mood and I am very eclectic so it will go from rap to country, to pop to hardcore metal, I literally will listen to just about anything. But overall here is a complete "playlist" of sorts:
1. Now the Rabbit has the Gun 2. Tori Amos (just about everything by her) 3. Milica Jovovich (the Divine Comedy is amazing) 4. Sarah McLachlan (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy is my fav) 5. Fiona Apple
that is what rotates currently but then again there is just about everything one can think of ;-)
This was actually a debate last week because people do have (on occasion) cross the line between what is private and what isn't. I remember recently scrolling through family photos and seeing my parents in the magazine and when I looked closer she was holding something...or should say someone and that little something was me. A very surreal aspect at that point because where does one draw the line between being an open book to respecting someone's privacy? I had my own issues with that the last couple of years when my ex boyfriend and I broke up for me it was awful because had to deal with something that should be exceedingly private yet had to deal with it out in the open. I think this is why I for one respect Robert Pattinson(which is why our relationship ended, he cheated) and how he handled his relationship issues. People forget that celebrities are like the rest of us and need respect and privacy to deal with issues. There are some things that not everyone needs to know (same with my life) I am an open person but not everyone needs to know my entire life story at least not publicly. I am so appreciative of those who respect that and yes do have some who like to cross that boundary but hey learn to deal. I also think this is why my parents were so protective of me and actually sheltered me growing up because think they wanted me to be "normal" even when I began modeling at 14 my parents just really laid the law down and looking back I am so grateful for. I have been so blessed with amazing parents who have helped kept me so grounded as well amazing friends. So the issue on what to reveal and what not to? I am pretty much open except for the following topics: religion, politics and my personal romantic life. Those are the things I try to keep out of the "public"
So I do have a very hectic schedule and trying to eat healthy doesn't always happen as much as I'd like. I was raised a vegetarian and I still pretty much follow the diet but it gets really hard in between traveling etc. and it isn't like they have tofu in vending machines (sadly) what is a girl to do?? Well needless to say I was very excited when I was able to stop for vegetarian pad thai with tofu. It made my tummy very happy and yes, I truly eat with chopsticks <3
My schedule is to where I can begin traveling again for photo shoots, etc. it can make for a very hectic life but at the same time I really enjoy traveling. I think it is because when I was much younger I would travel all the time with my parents especially since growing up in between California and Texas...there was always an adventure. So over the next month and half I will venture to Indiana, Cincinnati, Toledo, Chicago and Pittsburgh and eventually LA bound again in January...very very busy girl! but here is a flashback from my photo shoot with the amazing Laura Dark; 7 hours of hair and make up for this shoot but so worth it and very lucky was able to work with such an amazing and talented photographer!
I am quite certain that question is popping up (or beginning to) quite often and we all have life stories, I mean we have roads to which lead us to our journeys...right? Right! Well this is sort of mine (yea, I am also kind of private which know is going to irritate some).
Okay so here are the basics: I grew up with a novelist Dad and a runway model/musician Mom (we've heard it millions of times) I started modeling at the age of 14 but with my parents being so protective I didn't do as much until now. So when I first started out I did mostly gothic high fashion mainly because I didn't want the comparison to my Mom and avoided runway as much as possible. Well, last year I conquered my own fears of runway and completely did a reinvention of my style and look in the fashion world to create and become more comfortable with myself as an artist, performer and model. Was it easy not by any means.I think I will always be drawn to the music/fashion world because it is a world in which I grew up in and honestly feel most comfortable in. I have spent most of my career promoting and marketing other musicians and artists and this is the first time in a while I am actually going to promote my own work and it is quite difficult.
I am a "normal" (which is loosely defined I believe) and down to Earth and to be honest I felt the point in my career that must begin to "promote" myself etc. now fair warning: I am not going to constantly be online talking about my "fans" blah blah I actually hate that word. These are people who are supportive in some way or another coming to one of our shows or buying a t shirt and the like. They are helping us and I don't want to reduce people to "oh hey, you're just a fan" nope not from me. I am very thankful for the people who have supported me thus far in my career and will continue to give back as much as I can.
thank you all so much for reading this far and hope to bring some goodness to you all in some way shape or form xoxo Natalie P.
