to everyone who doubted....

Yes, there have been moments when people doubt me all the time. I was told quite regularly how ugly I am or told that I would never marry because I am not a blonde Barbie or was made fun of for being an orphan. I want to accomplish things just so I can prove everyone wrong who has ever doubted me in the past and still do. I want to be able to show the world that just because I have aspergers or I may be an orphan or may be Native American I can still be beautiful and still be loved. I want to be able to inspire other Native American girls so that they can have someone to look up to so they can say "look she's doing it, I can too". Nothing is out of reach and I feel every goal is obtainable as long as we believe in it, it can happen. So for all the kids out there who made fun of me...keep laughing because I am sure you won't be laughing before long,  because it makes me even more determined to make it....

alas the show must go on....

I am sitting here and so ready to just crawl under the bed and sleep. I feel exhausted and awful, but as my Mum always told me, "we still have to be professional and keep going. Push through it all even when we aren't feeling our best we have to still act like it". So I take that into heart whenever I feel not so great because sometimes we do have to push through it and keep going. Where the inspiration comes from at least for me can be simple as just wanting to curl up in bed and sleep for an afternoon (which as much as I am on the road and working it is a great idea!) But we are human too and deserve/need breaks. Like right now, just thinking about when Sunday comes around wanting to see the new Resident Evil film hehe...just little things like that motivate me for now. 
Do must admit love traveling because it feels as if it is an adventure and perhaps this was instilled in me as a child (we traveled alot when I was younger) so that constant need to be on the road suits me quite a bit. It does become tiring over time but getting to meet so many different people and see so many sites. I never wanted to be someplace just one place and not know about other parts of the world...that feels so limited. I have an adventurous spirit!

to thine own self be true....

Nude or no nude? Yes, this is a topic I must address considering I am involved in a world which loves to show off women being nude or pretty close to it. It is something in which I deal with constantly and even passed up on modeling gigs and other events because I refuse to go nude; it was just a personal decision in which I made for myself because for me it isn't something I would like to do.
No, it isn't because I have confidence issues it is more of a personal decision which I decided to make early on. Some people do have issues with it but most must also understand being an Orthodox Christian and being in this world can collide occasionally and this issue is something in which they do collide on many facets. The personal decision I made is not only culturally, but it is more respect of myself and my family and not to sound harsh but it is far easier and we do get paid much more quickly the sooner we take our clothes off. I feel being naked is something I would want to do with someone with whom I have a relationship with not the whole needs to see everything or know everything about us.  I am appreciative of those who respect my wishes regarding this concept, and I am very open about sexuality but there are some things I choose to keep private and this is one of them. I also think our society has lost the idea of respecting and setting up boundaries. I am not expecting to be the cartoon candy girl forever, yet still there is a way to be sexy and feminine without going to the extreme to be raunchy ( I mean super duper) and being nude.

like a good book I can't put this day back....

Music. It's one of my ultimate pleasures in life and it is something in which I grew up around my whole life. With my Mum everything was music, music and more music. I probably learned music before speaking (that may be drastic but slightly ever so true). When I have a very tough day, nothing is more relaxing than loading up my mp3 player to just listen to something anything happiest moments of my life are defined by music (even the saddest) and it is definitely one of the things I am most passionate about.
So what does my playlist contain? Actually it does include my best friends ( Now the Rabbit has the Gun) whom I am proud to say have seen evolve as musicians and as people, my surrogate big brothers. They are so talented and can always know what their music is about. Yet overall, my music tastes vary by my mood and I am very eclectic so it will go from rap to country, to pop to hardcore metal, I literally will listen to just about anything.
But overall here is a complete "playlist" of sorts:

1. Now the Rabbit has the Gun
2. Tori Amos (just about everything by her)
3. Milica Jovovich (the Divine Comedy is amazing)
4. Sarah McLachlan (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy is my fav)
5. Fiona Apple

that is what rotates currently but then again there is just about everything one can think of ;-)

how open is too open?

This was actually a debate last week because people do have (on occasion) cross the line between what is private and what isn't. I remember recently scrolling through family photos and seeing my parents in the magazine and when I looked closer she was holding something...or should say someone and that little something was me. A very surreal aspect at that point because where does one draw the line between being an open book to respecting someone's privacy?
 I had my own issues with that the last couple of years when my ex boyfriend and I broke up for me it was awful because had to deal with something that should be exceedingly private yet had to deal with it out in the open. I think this is why I for one respect Robert Pattinson(which is why our relationship ended, he cheated) and how he handled his relationship issues. People forget that celebrities are like the rest of us and need respect and privacy to deal with issues. There are some things that not everyone needs to know (same with my life) I am an open person but not everyone needs to know my entire life story at least not publicly. I am so appreciative of those who respect that and yes do have some who like to cross that boundary but hey learn to deal.
 I also think this is why my parents were so protective of me and actually sheltered me growing up because think they wanted me to be "normal" even when I began modeling at 14 my parents just really laid the law down and looking back I am so grateful for. I have been so blessed with amazing parents who have helped kept me so grounded as well amazing friends.
 So the issue on what to reveal and what not to? I am pretty much open except for the following topics: religion, politics and my personal romantic life. Those are the things I try to keep out of the "public"

xoxo

on the road eating....

So I do have a very hectic schedule and trying to eat healthy doesn't always happen as much as I'd like. I was raised a vegetarian and I still pretty much follow the diet but it gets really hard in between traveling etc. and it isn't like they have tofu in vending machines (sadly) what is a girl to do??
Well needless to say I was very excited when I was able to stop for vegetarian pad thai with tofu. It made my tummy very happy and yes, I truly eat with chopsticks <3

getting to be on the road again....

My schedule is to where I can begin traveling again for photo shoots, etc. it can make for a very hectic life but at the same time I really enjoy traveling. I think it is because when I was much younger I would travel all the time with my parents especially since growing up in between California and Texas...there was always an adventure. So over the next month and half I will venture to Indiana, Cincinnati, Toledo, Chicago and Pittsburgh and eventually LA bound again in January...very very busy girl!

but here is a flashback from my photo shoot with the amazing Laura Dark; 7 hours of hair and make up for this shoot but so worth it and very lucky was able to work with such an amazing and talented photographer!

who is Natalie Page?

I am quite certain that question is popping up (or beginning to) quite often and we all have life stories, I mean we have roads to which lead us to our journeys...right? Right! Well this is sort of mine (yea, I am also kind of private which know is going to irritate some).

Okay so here are the basics: I grew up with a novelist Dad and a runway model/musician Mom (we've heard it millions of times) I started modeling at the age of 14 but with my parents being so protective I didn't do as much until now. So when I first started out I did mostly gothic high fashion mainly because I didn't want the comparison to my Mom and avoided runway as much as possible. Well, last year I conquered my own fears of runway and completely did a reinvention of my style and look in the fashion world to create and become more comfortable with myself as an artist, performer and model. Was it easy not by any means.I think I will always be drawn to the music/fashion world because it is a world in which I grew up in and honestly feel most comfortable in. I have spent most of my career promoting and marketing other musicians and artists and this is the first time in a while I am actually going to promote my own work and it is quite difficult.

I am a "normal" (which is loosely defined I believe) and down to Earth and to be honest I felt the point in my career that must begin to "promote" myself etc. now fair warning: I am not going to constantly be online talking about my "fans" blah blah I actually hate that word. These are people who are supportive in some way or another coming to one of our shows or buying a t shirt and the like. They are helping us and I don't want to reduce people to "oh hey, you're just a fan" nope not from me. I am very thankful for the people who have supported me thus far in my career and will continue to give back as much as I can.

thank you all so much for reading this far and hope to bring some goodness to you all in some way shape or form
xoxo

Natalie P.