I have been pretty quiet these past few months in regards to performing and things of that nature. Yes, I am still around with photo shoots and performing. I will always be a dancer, regardless of my age or anything else that is reflecting that.
These past few months have been a testing period for me and believe it or not it was re discovering myself as a person and as a performer. The typical who am I? notion and think we all go through this phase performers or not...we're all people. We all have different wants and needs in our lives and things which are important to us.
The past 7 months have been remarkably different: new relationship, new outlook on life and new outlets for being creative. I think I have grown in these past 7 months more than any experience in my life...performance wise. I also think it is who you surround yourself with which reflects a person's creative growth.
Thankfully, I have been able to surround myself around people who are incredibly talented, creative, positive and extraordinary individuals and every day I am in awe that able to create with so many amazing artists. It was rediscovering that inspiration that at a time was actually lost.
Previously, it was more so being what another person wanted me to be which did not fit me as a performer at all. There shouldn't be anything to feel ashamed of the sort of music I like, the musicians I associate myself with, or the artists I choose to create with. We all are drawn to different artists, music, performers that speak to us and for whatever reason these individuals speak me in a creative way.
Sure, we're all not perfect no one in this world is. I also think in the past much jealousy was involved. And, I never considered myself to have "haters" or people being jealous. I just always felt not everyone will like you regardless whatever it is you're doing. Yet, at the same time be mature enough and respect people for their choices. I know what I choose for myself may not be for everyone else and vice versa. Just deal with it. Honestly, now it is coming to the realisation of how people in this world can be, some negative and some positive.
I've lost someone who I thought was my best friend and this business will teach you a lot about how people truly are. All in all people will say what you've done to them, but always remember what they've done to you...strikely different stories.
I am hoping to continue this journey as a performer and there are some new things in the works. Just be positive always, and keep the flow going.
So yes, my performances are more mature and have grown with me as a person. In one week I am debuting two of these numbers. I am excited, yet nervous at the same time only because one never know how it will be received.
I am just going to keep being positive and perform. It's what I do.
xx
Natalia
