we're both thieving and it's okay

Lovedrug is one of my favourite bands and I remember them from several years back when they would hang out with my big brother [who was also a musician]. Michael Shepard was always an amazing songwriter, at least I thought so but this song is amazing as well it inspired the novel the Awakening, so very cool.

and I know there is a specific person who is out there thieving...and I know he's creeping too, it's perfectly okay I really don't mind because he can creep and thieve as much as he wants.....

;-)

what my life looks/sounds like right now.....

pretty much sums up my life right now

What an amazing time
What a family
How did the years go by?
Now it's only me

Tick tock
Tick tock

Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car
A scary conversation,
Shut my eyes, can't find the brake
What if they say that you're a climber?

Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone
Who really cares 'cause it's your life
You never know, it could be great
Take a chance 'cause you might grow

What you waiting for?


Tick tock
Tick tock


Take a chance you stupid whore

Like an echo pedal, you're repeating yourself
You know it all by heart
Why are you standing in one place?
Born to blossom, bloom to perish

Your moment will run out
'Cause of your sex chromosome
I know it's so messed up how our society all thinks (for sure)
Life is short, you're capable (uh huh)

LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!

What you waiting for?

I can't wait to go
Back and do Japan
Get me lots of brand new fans
Osaka, Tokyo
You Harajuku girls
Damn, you've got some wicked style...

GO!
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!

What you waiting for?

Take a chance, you stupid whore

What you waiting for?

respect privacy please. from my personal tumblr

For quite some time now I have been debating whether to write something on my tumblr [because this is more like my diary now] but it seems there has been the ever struggle with my personal life and people here wanting to discuss it. I also know that growing up within a relatively famous family I am rather used to dealing with all of these things but even for me it is difficult and like everyone entitled to privacy but the general point of all this is...what is it anyone's business regardless for? And this is primarily talking to those who have been making a rather large deal out of it for the longest and which I have been basically ignoring for the longest. 
  First of all, I don’t even know where this all started and to be honest I really don’t care; but why over these past few months I have been getting some of the most cruel hate than anyone could possibly imagine? Sure, I can understand if you don’t like my taste in music or the same artists but why would someone take the time go to someone else’s twitter/facebook and make out right hateful comments with no reasoning behind it?
  Also, I never discuss my personal life publicly and everything is generally assumed; there is no reason for me to write all over twitter if I am seeing someone or who I hang out with and if I don’t do these things I am constantly called “fake” and “delusional”. Yes, my elder brother was a professional musician as was my Mum, but I never felt the need to write all over the internet all of the things they’ve done. I was always raised to be humble my sisters, brother and I were at least. One reason I adore my brother he never walked around like he was the lead guitarist of a band he was just himself he lived life and treated everyone fairly…isn’t that how it is supposed to be?

Now, I am also getting and have been for some time “hate” over who I am supposedly “dating”. You know, even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t discuss it  because what business is it of anyone else except for me and him?And I am just here for my dancing, nothing else. 
  Yes and to be honest I think it is completely flattering because I think Justin is brilliant as a musician [and talented] and he has the hugest heart of anyone I have ever seen and yes, I would be totally open to the idea of it.

I also think that because I tend to be more private about my personal life it leaves it wide open so people think they can say and do whatever they want and I wouldn’t say anything about it. I think he is entitled to a personal life just as much as I am and as I said before, even if it is no I just wouldn’t answer that because what is the purpose of constantly answering that question?

  I think people around here get all into because I’ve choreographed/performed a couple routines to his music so people automatically assume things; honestly I could walk into a room and say I like green peas and people would take it the wrong way. This is actually a lesson I learned [believe it or not] from my ex boyfriend about being responsible about what we post online and what we say/do affects other people. Beforehand, I never really thought about things in that light but it is true.

So yea, what people say to me does affect me I am a person with feelings but what actually surprises me is where the hate is coming from and it is not from the people you would expect it to come from; and that is all I am going to say on that topic.

Basically bottom line, no matter who I am dating or not should be between me and that person. I’ve never been the one to post all over twitter or facebook “hey, I’m talking to this person” or essentially bragging about it…that really isn’t my thing. I also think it is something that people would eventually know or not and what is so wrong with me wanting to have some privacy with my relationships? I have guys who are good friends just as I have girls who are good friends. If I am into someone romantically those closest to me would know and obviously he would know…but what is the point of blasting it all over the internet? 

So do I like him? Yes, very much so would I date him…absolutely. Anything other than that should be private ya know? And honestly, I have no idea where he [Justin Bieber] is with his personal life, I don’t pry into someone’s personal life and I don’t do the Da Vinci Code all over twitter trying to figure someone out. I just feel at least around here it is getting out of control [where I’m at] but like I mentioned is it flattering most definitely because he is an amazing person, but I am just going to leave my personal life just that…private. I also hope that people would be supportive of whomever I choose to date and thankfully most people have been so respectful of my privacy and cannot be grateful enough for that. 

So for now on when people ask me about all that I am just going to leave it as private because I feel a relationship of any kind should be between two people and I know from previous experience dating someone who is a celebrity it can be difficult time maintaining privacy and think learning from my past mistakes and apply them to the future. And honestly me writing about this now is a big stretch for me, and know it frustrates people but I am just in general a very private person especially in relationships and like I said even yes or no…just not going to go there….

Q & A [answering and clearing up some things]

I haven't done any Q & As for a long while because was getting mostly the questions from my ask.fm account and of course what is messaged to me or what I receive via twitter; but, as of late have to admit the questions have been kind of inappropriate :-/ I don't mind answering questions and talking to people/ pagers and as always I am the type of person who is going to be 110% honest and if something is uncomfortable or I just feel it is too private I will generally say so, but overall thank you to everyone as always for the kind words and messages/tweets I am so grateful for all of the support and still keep questions coming though love getting to know people xoxo


Q: What age did you start dancing?
A: I started dancing at the age of 6 after my Mum took me to see Giselle. I remember when I saw it I looked at my Mum and told her I was going to do that and been dancing ever since.

Q: How did you end up as a burlesque dancer?
A: as mentioned before dance has always been a huge part of my life and always will be. My Mum was a performer [musician] professionally I would travel with my family to Las Vegas I would sneak and watch shows I always thought the dancers were so glamorous and beautiful. And being a dancer now I know loads of girls who are burlesque dancers so one talked me into it but mainly I would kind of help out and choreograph routines so once I was asked figured why not and go for it. I'll try anything once.

Q: You mentioned about getting hate because you don't do nudes or be extremely risque when performing how does that feel?
A: At first it was really and I mean REALLY difficult. Especially when you respect other people as artists and performers then that respect isn't given back it does make it very hard and finding support in this business; it's almost expected of women to drop your pants to people to get ahead and that just isn't me. I work hard if not harder than a lot of people and I just feel as if seeing me [nude] should be for whomever I am dating or decide to be involved with. Like I said before I started modeling when I was 14 and never did nudes but each person has to make that decision for her or himself.

Q: Everyone is talking about your newest number you choreographed/performed "The Enemy" story behind it?
A: it was my response to all of the negativity I had been getting. The song itself tells a wonderful story and it was just trying to convey that emotion via dance and so far people have been getting that and I am so grateful for it. It does mean so much when people tell me that they can relate to that number it's something I hope with my dancing is finding something everyone can relate to.

Q: Which do you like more dancing or nursing and how did you become a nurse?
A: Well, my Mum made me promise I would go to school and earn a degree or do something before pursuing a performing career, I ended up in nursing. I love helping people and taking care of people so think it fit for me.

Q: People don't realize you've accomplished a lot and worked with a lot of big people as far modeling goes and at such a young age.
A: looking back at it and even now I've never been the type of person who was all over twitter, facebook etc screaming hey I did this I just thought of it as doing what everyone else did. Now, I do occasionally think to myself that yea really done this like I really really did this. Hopefully I can tell my children one day never know!

Q: Favorite time period fashion?
A: I love old school Hollywood like the Great Gatsby, or pin up it is more my personality and style. I love the vintage glamour and I honestly think I was born in the wrong decade...say it all the time but it is true.

Q: Who is your celebrity crush?
A: hmmm I don't really have one to be honest!

Q: Do you have a boyfriend?
A: I get asked this a lot...but it's private for now just hoping and keeping the focus on dancing at the moment.

write hope [september 26]

Every year for the last 4 years I helped to start something called "write hope" the whole purpose was for people to literally write the word "hope" on their arm, hand, wherever to show support against bullying, ovarian cancer, PCOS, depression...basically whatever a person was struggling with in life. The goal was to show others that there is support, love and "hope" out there in the world and that we're not alone out there in the world that there are other people fighting with us for whichever reasons we may have.
  I started it on my birthday September 26 as a way to show support for women's health issues a cause I had been advocating for since 2006 last year was the biggest yet and every year I am so amazed and blessed as to how many people have sent photos of this event so yes it continuing on this year and always will.
So remember the date September 26, be sure to hashtag on twitter #writehope and a FB event page is coming soon over the next few days.
  
much love always,
natalie

awakening [from my personal tumblr]

awakening/falling

people don’t understand him. people don’t understand me. but we understand one another perfectly in this sea that we dwell in, you open me up like Pandora’s box and don’t know how far this will go, art is everywhere in you and in me yes we’re matched perfectly. they don’t understand this sea of emotions but it is  because it isn’t a connection of their own, you have my heart you always did and no one can replace these summer nights with you, i am not his heartbreaker but will be theirs so tell a friend…to tell a friend….

my response to when people ask me about who i'm into romantically

i don't know what you're thinking
and you don't know neither way
how i was before
[before all this]
it seems you keep falling inside
what you think is the delusions
you want the truth but it's not
what you want anymore
we just need something to believe in
and i'm just searching for a reason
so tell us, who do you love now?
is it enough to let go?
is it enough for you to let go?
do you believe in your eyes [believe what you see]
so the emotions are getting stronger
believe is the truth as you know
as you know
it doesn't matter what i tell you
you're just gonna think what
you want anyhow
we just need something to believe in
and i'm just searching for a reason
so tell us
so who do you love now?
is it enough to let go?
is it enough for you to let go?
do you believe your eyes [believe what you see]
do you believe in your ears [ can you hear what you hear]
can you hear what they say?
we just need something to believe in
and i'm just here looking for a reason
so just tell us
so who is it you love
who do you love now?
is it enough to let go?
[would you let it all go?]
do you believe in your eyes [believe what you see]
would you still call it a lie?
-who do you love?