Monday, August 26, 2013
addressing rumours about my romantic life [from my personal tumblr]
“I am quite aware of rumours going around about me; I also make the conscientious decision to ignore most of them as well. People will oftentimes take my verbal diarrhea and run with it and those who know me well or long enough know I oftentimes make comments to be facetious something as being an imperfect human being is my own vice. But bottom line people take what someone says a little too seriously anymore, and for the record I am not dating an indie film director I am not dating a rapper, is there someone I care a lot about and into yes that is true and he should know who he is [I hope] and my closest friends know who he is. I am pretty much single unless the person mentioned officially asked me out I would be completely open to the idea, but that should totally be between he and I as with anyone I choose to become involved with romantically. I’ve always been very private about who I am dating or involved with. I’ve never been a kiss and tell type of person.”
Sunday, August 25, 2013
connection is connectivity in a boundless wonder of creativity [from my personal tumblr page]
connection is connectivity in a boundless wonder of creativity
People for the last year have been asking me, “well why do I feel such a connection to him”? or “why do I even bother listening to his music, etc”? Well it is simple: connection.
And in my own way of explaining it [and my philosophy is oftentimes difficult for most people to comprehend, so going to do my best to explain it in Natalie terms].
And in my own way of explaining it [and my philosophy is oftentimes difficult for most people to comprehend, so going to do my best to explain it in Natalie terms].
I feel we are all connected to people in some way, shape or form. It can be we feel connections to people romantically, sexually, artistically or in friendship basically some people we just “click” with more easily than others. It has nothing to do with other people or you as a person ; sometimes it just happens that way in life, occasionally.
Now, with that being said I feel that his life has been much like my own life. People think because I grew up with performer parents that my life was so fabulous and easy…well to be honest it wasn’t. My parents divorced when I was really young and I was pretty much raised by my Mum on her own; yes, my Dad did not really play much of a role in my life until I was older and sadly, not until just before he died. So, my Mum raised me by herself.
It isn't something that I openly talk about just because it is hard for me to open up to people as trusting people is something that is really difficult for me. One reason why Yellow Raincoat is one of my favourite numbers to perform; just because on the outside I appear happy but it is what’s happening on the inside that people don’t see.
So, think connected with the fact our childhoods were extremely similar, and we both began performing very young believe it or not in my case.
Also think this is a reason why we are drawn to people…we’re drawn to people who are like us in some way or another, and that is why I feel “connected” to him [for people who have been asking] he’s someone I just feel like can relate to. We all have people like that in our lives no matter how we interact with them. This is life, or at least how I perceive it.
Now, with that being said I feel that his life has been much like my own life. People think because I grew up with performer parents that my life was so fabulous and easy…well to be honest it wasn’t. My parents divorced when I was really young and I was pretty much raised by my Mum on her own; yes, my Dad did not really play much of a role in my life until I was older and sadly, not until just before he died. So, my Mum raised me by herself.
It isn't something that I openly talk about just because it is hard for me to open up to people as trusting people is something that is really difficult for me. One reason why Yellow Raincoat is one of my favourite numbers to perform; just because on the outside I appear happy but it is what’s happening on the inside that people don’t see.
So, think connected with the fact our childhoods were extremely similar, and we both began performing very young believe it or not in my case.
Also think this is a reason why we are drawn to people…we’re drawn to people who are like us in some way or another, and that is why I feel “connected” to him [for people who have been asking] he’s someone I just feel like can relate to. We all have people like that in our lives no matter how we interact with them. This is life, or at least how I perceive it.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
you're unique in this madness
I'm waiting for the call
Give me something
Give me something
I know in time he'll fall
That's his nature
Nature doesn't change
Just cause
Just cause you're wanting it to
Cannot stop
Shouldn't halt what's been determined
You know I wanted it too
Cannot lie
Cant deny
What has been programmed
Cause when I smelt his skin
I said let me in
He lit me from within
In the darkness
And when I hit the wall
Felt over 10feet tall
I'll still come back for more
Oh his sadness
But he loves me
He excites me
He invites me
Unique in it's madness
Yeah he loves me
He ignites me
He is part of me
Unique in it's madness
I'm waiting for the call
Give me something
Somewhere I can run to
I know in time he'll fall
That's his nature
Nature doesn't change
Just cause
Just cause you're wanting it to
Cannot stop
Shouldn't halt what's been determined
You know I wanted it too
Cannot lie
Can’t deny
What has been programmed
So when I hit the wall
Felt over 10feet tall
And I still wanted more
I needed access
So I come back again
It did not matter than
Always came back to him
Oh his sadness
But he loves me
He excites me
He invites me
Unique in it's madness
Yeah he loves me
He ignites me
He is part of me
Unique in it's madness
Then he touched me
I gave in
Then he touched me
I gave in
When he kissed me
When kissed me
But he loves me
He excites me
He invites me
Unique in it's madness
Yeah he loves me
He ignites me
He is part of me
Unique in it's madness
Just cause you're wanting it to
Cannot stop
Shouldn't halt what's been determined
You know I wanted it too
Cannot lie
Can’t deny
What has been programmed
So when I hit the wall
Felt over 10feet tall
And I still wanted more
I needed access
So I come back again
It did not matter than
Always came back to him
Oh his sadness
But he loves me
He excites me
He invites me
Unique in it's madness
Yeah he loves me
He ignites me
He is part of me
Unique in it's madness
Then he touched me
I gave in
Then he touched me
I gave in
When he kissed me
When kissed me
But he loves me
He excites me
He invites me
Unique in it's madness
Yeah he loves me
He ignites me
He is part of me
Unique in it's madness
Just cause you're wanting it to
Cannot stop
Shouldn't halt what's been determined
You know I wanted it too
Cannot lie
Can’t deny
What has been programmed
So when I hit the wall
Felt over 10feet tall
And I still wanted more
I needed access
So I come back again
It did not matter than
Always came back to him
Oh his sadness
But he loves me
He excites me
He invites me
Unique in it's madness
Yeah he loves me
He ignites me
He is part of me
Unique in it's madness
Then he
touched me
I gave in
Then he touched me
I gave in
When he kissed me
When kissed me
But he loves me
He excites me
He invites me
Unique in it's madness
Yeah he loves me
He ignites me
He is part of me
Unique in it's madness
Thursday, August 8, 2013
introducing a new doll series Swan Lake inspired
So...remember back when I mentioned I had some surprises in store about my upcoming performances? Well, as most know since the age of 6 I have been trained in ballet so ballet is always close to my heart as a dancer/performer; and with the holiday season coming up I developed a concept which centered around Swan Lake and a fictional piece I read some time ago entitled the Ice Princess. Both are similar in concepts [except in Ice Princess she is turned into a living doll made of ice instead of a swan] yet it is the entire "black" swan or darker side and the "white" swan who is more fragile and gentle in nature the challenge [ like in Swan Lake] is to pull off both roles convincingly.
The "darker" doll whose character name is Pele Rose will be debuted during the Halloween season [which makes perfect sense, right?] and like in Swan Lake the costuming will be darker more than likely all black as well the choreography will be much darker than any other concept I've come up with as a choreographer.
The "lighter" doll whose character name is Mimi Roget will be debuted during Christmas season and the costuming will be very similar to the white swan.
Choreography wise I have always been inspired by the Nutcracker and had been wanting to choreograph a doll piece after seeing Bethany from our company perform Spanish Doll. She does a remarkable job in that particular role and it just sparked my own interest in developing a doll choreography concept. In dance the entire "living doll" I am so intrigued by because the choreography is generally difficult and as a performer/dancer I love setting boundaries and even exceeding them occasionally.
So, yes I am so excited to perform these pieces soon and hope that everyone enjoys them in the near future!!
much love,
Natalie
The "darker" doll whose character name is Pele Rose will be debuted during the Halloween season [which makes perfect sense, right?] and like in Swan Lake the costuming will be darker more than likely all black as well the choreography will be much darker than any other concept I've come up with as a choreographer.
The "lighter" doll whose character name is Mimi Roget will be debuted during Christmas season and the costuming will be very similar to the white swan.
Choreography wise I have always been inspired by the Nutcracker and had been wanting to choreograph a doll piece after seeing Bethany from our company perform Spanish Doll. She does a remarkable job in that particular role and it just sparked my own interest in developing a doll choreography concept. In dance the entire "living doll" I am so intrigued by because the choreography is generally difficult and as a performer/dancer I love setting boundaries and even exceeding them occasionally.
So, yes I am so excited to perform these pieces soon and hope that everyone enjoys them in the near future!!
much love,
Natalie
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
so if you ask the answer is yes....[but you know this already]
Will You Be My Girlfriend?
[alanis morissette]
I didn't know how to ask unawkwardly.
I didn't know how to approach it.
I haven't known how to do this informally
Not cut out for dropping masks
I guess I give, and you give back.
Is that right?
Guess I listen and you feedback
Is that right
I guess I call when I need help
Is that right?
Will You be my girlfriend?
I haven't worn my heart on sleeves and been rewarded
with an open heartedness
I haven't felt I had the right to be supported
with a golden tenderness
I guess I risk and you risk back
is that right?
I guess I share and you share back
Is that right?
Guess I uplift you when you crack
Is that right?
Will You be my girlfriend?
Can I lean on your shoulder?
Will you join me in some pact?
Will you see me as your sister?
Can we love enough to offer that?
I guess I thought that you would laugh and be daunted
And think me clingy and too much
I thought this much too vulnerable, and you'd not cut
me slack
And think me intolerable
I guess I fall and you stay intact
Is that right?
I guess you hear me and won't attack me
Is that right?
Guess I reach out and you reach back
Is that right?
Will you be my girlfriend?
Guess I divulge and you wink back
Is that right?
Guess you cry, I pat your back
Is that right?
I guess I text and you text back
Is that right?
Will you be my girlfriend?
Is that right?
Will you be my girlfriend?
....and to answer yes I would be <3
I didn't know how to approach it.
I haven't known how to do this informally
Not cut out for dropping masks
I guess I give, and you give back.
Is that right?
Guess I listen and you feedback
Is that right
I guess I call when I need help
Is that right?
Will You be my girlfriend?
I haven't worn my heart on sleeves and been rewarded
with an open heartedness
I haven't felt I had the right to be supported
with a golden tenderness
I guess I risk and you risk back
is that right?
I guess I share and you share back
Is that right?
Guess I uplift you when you crack
Is that right?
Will You be my girlfriend?
Can I lean on your shoulder?
Will you join me in some pact?
Will you see me as your sister?
Can we love enough to offer that?
I guess I thought that you would laugh and be daunted
And think me clingy and too much
I thought this much too vulnerable, and you'd not cut
me slack
And think me intolerable
I guess I fall and you stay intact
Is that right?
I guess you hear me and won't attack me
Is that right?
Guess I reach out and you reach back
Is that right?
Will you be my girlfriend?
Guess I divulge and you wink back
Is that right?
Guess you cry, I pat your back
Is that right?
I guess I text and you text back
Is that right?
Will you be my girlfriend?
Is that right?
Will you be my girlfriend?
....and to answer yes I would be <3
thoughts on fanbases [from my personal tumblr]
fanbases
so I was asked earlier which fanbase I actually belonged to. Well, I know I kind of answered this question but to fully answer it as to be honest, really don’t belong to one. I never really went through the whole “fangirl" experience growing up [except for Michael Jackson] but there were artists who inspired me and who also looked up to like Maria Tallchief [prima ballerina]; I think it was because I was so heavily into dance that there wasn't much fangirling going on. Not saying there is anything wrong with that notion because definitely isn’t.
I do find it interesting that now when I perform I am slowly discovering that I have a “fanbase" of my own and in fact it was quite shocking; the fact that people actually follow and are into what it is I am doing performance wise and it is a really neat experience. But yea, guess could say I am myself am a pager, I love the people who come to our shows and are always showing us support as a dancer and performer it is harder than being a musician [I think] to have a strong fanbase.
So overall belonging to a fanbase I would probably consider myself a “teeser" [Dita von Teese] as she is most certainly one of my biggest inspirations for when I perform and is someone hope my career can come somewhat close to. I also adore Angelina Jolie and Tori Amos so guess could say I do in fact fangirl them.
Someone also asked if I was a belieber and for me that is kind of complicated; I think in some ways yes but think yes for various reasons and it is weird for me to answer. But yes, I absolutely adore him to the moon and back but I also see him as a human being and as someone who is like the rest of us; so think that is why in many ways I find it almost hard to see him in that way [so to speak]. It doesn't make one way of thinking right or wrong or better even but to answer that I think possibly yes could possibly be one [belieber] but on a different level and for different reasons, if that even makes sense. I think it is also the same with my big brother and his band/music career when it affects you personally[directly or indirectly] you see the whole experience differently.
I do find it interesting that now when I perform I am slowly discovering that I have a “fanbase" of my own and in fact it was quite shocking; the fact that people actually follow and are into what it is I am doing performance wise and it is a really neat experience. But yea, guess could say I am myself am a pager, I love the people who come to our shows and are always showing us support as a dancer and performer it is harder than being a musician [I think] to have a strong fanbase.
So overall belonging to a fanbase I would probably consider myself a “teeser" [Dita von Teese] as she is most certainly one of my biggest inspirations for when I perform and is someone hope my career can come somewhat close to. I also adore Angelina Jolie and Tori Amos so guess could say I do in fact fangirl them.
Someone also asked if I was a belieber and for me that is kind of complicated; I think in some ways yes but think yes for various reasons and it is weird for me to answer. But yes, I absolutely adore him to the moon and back but I also see him as a human being and as someone who is like the rest of us; so think that is why in many ways I find it almost hard to see him in that way [so to speak]. It doesn't make one way of thinking right or wrong or better even but to answer that I think possibly yes could possibly be one [belieber] but on a different level and for different reasons, if that even makes sense. I think it is also the same with my big brother and his band/music career when it affects you personally[directly or indirectly] you see the whole experience differently.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
10 facts about me
since this was trending on twitter earlier here are some 10 facts about me [that most wouldn't know]
1. I am left handed
2. My big brother was a lead guitarist in a rock band [that was signed]
3. My Dad was a novelist, my Mum was a professional runway/musician; I grew up in the industry.
4. My Dad was Serbian/Ukrainian and my Mum was Native American [Choctaw-Cherokee]
5. I don't dream in English
6. I grew up speaking French and Russian but can speak Spanish as well read Ukrainian and Serbian
7. Started dancing at the age of 6. I studied ballet but lately feel more like modern/hip hop dancing is my calling as a dancer
8. Most of my family lives in Europe
9. I'm not shy it just depends how well I know someone then will open up; I don't trust a lot of people. I actually feel more comfortable around musicians/artists than "normal" people because that is what I grew up around my whole life.
10. My crush is Justin Bieber
totally honest 10 facts about me!!
1. I am left handed
2. My big brother was a lead guitarist in a rock band [that was signed]
3. My Dad was a novelist, my Mum was a professional runway/musician; I grew up in the industry.
4. My Dad was Serbian/Ukrainian and my Mum was Native American [Choctaw-Cherokee]
5. I don't dream in English
6. I grew up speaking French and Russian but can speak Spanish as well read Ukrainian and Serbian
7. Started dancing at the age of 6. I studied ballet but lately feel more like modern/hip hop dancing is my calling as a dancer
8. Most of my family lives in Europe
9. I'm not shy it just depends how well I know someone then will open up; I don't trust a lot of people. I actually feel more comfortable around musicians/artists than "normal" people because that is what I grew up around my whole life.
10. My crush is Justin Bieber
totally honest 10 facts about me!!
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