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more thoughts that were too long for tweets [yes people keep these but glad because at least they are making some laugh lol]


"I don't really get 'annoyed' when people call me Angelina Jolie. I mean if people want to compare me to a woman who is absolutely gorgeous, has an amazing career, does so many good things/has a big heart, quirky and gets to go home to Brad Pitt, why would that make me mad? I mean I would be okay with all of that with the exception of Brad because he's taken...but for me if it was Justin Bieber then yea that would be perfect".

"I have come to the conclusion that people are more interested in my romantic life and my personal life which I really don't get...there really isn't much to tell. But, guess it is more out of curiosity which is cool, yet people have to respect personal lives though. I may be with someone and people may know if I like someone but that is the extent of it...all the details yea that is kept down low".

"Our society is obsessed with the 15 minutes of fame. Then again look at what's all on the telly: everything is a reality show just about and it makes people feel important; but it also makes me sad because we should focus more on trying to make people more productive and happy with themselves as is. Sure, not against chasing dreams by no means but people take it too far for the attention...that is where we get into problems as a culture".

"I never thought I would ever say this:  but besides ballet as a dance form I completely fell in love with burlesque. I think it has to do with my obsession with 1950s glamour; but look at older films and think 'gosh these women are so classy and glamorous at the same time...that is what I strive to be'".

"Yes, my Godfather is a priest so had a difficult time at first performing and even now there are some limits as to what I will and will not perform. People always say 'oh you're throwing religion' but really, I'm not. People have the right to believe whatever he or she chooses. I was just raised as a Christian and I do have some boundaries of what I think is too far. Sure, I think there is nothing more empowering that being in control of your sexuality and exploring that especially as a female; but I would not do anything demeaning religiously and I've seen some do that but hey it's not me so not going to worry about it".

"People have asked about what happened with my former best mate. You know, I still think she is a wonderful person it's just sometimes we allow things to go to our heads and think she kind of got to that point. I mean sure, be proud of your accomplishments but when you begin treating your oldest friends like shit isn't cool. One reason I hope beyond hope I can remain humble and grateful throughout this experience".

"I grew up performing, my Mum and my big brother. I used to travel everywhere with my big brother and his band and I miss those times but also learned so much; I've been blessed to have surrogate big brothers".

"No, I never had many boyfriends and think it's because I would invite guys to my big brother's shows...coming to think of it, no telling what he told  them, he was protective lol".

"What I noticed about guys is his eyes. I mean if he has gorgeous eyes then I am sold, like totally. He also has to have a great personality and a humour because I love to laugh alot. But, yea...eyes pretty much all yours".

"Someone told me once that guys are intimidated to ask me out. Honestly...just ask me out! I won't bite anyone...at least not intentionally....but really though I'm just a simple girl but I am also not easy...and think that may be case; I'm more of a if want the goods better be an super amazing boyfriend"

all you gotta do is believe....

I like to tell this joke especially when people are so negative about things, never know what can happen if you just simply believe :-)

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable..

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"

He said: "My Poor Child,Who fucked up your hair?"

my vday playlist

here are some songs that helped me get through today and guess this playlist is kind of where my life is right now:

1. Teenage Dream, Katy Perry
2. Your Cloud, Tori Amos
3. Is This Real?, Lisa Hall
4. Glory Box, Portishead
5.  Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, Sarah McLachlan
6. Showtime, Nelly Furtado
7. Best I Ever Had, Drake
8.Til You, Alanis Morissette
9.I Deserve It, Madonna
10. Love Me Like You Do, Justin Bieber

Happy Valentine's Day

Yes. I do realise that tomorrow is Valentine's Day and tomorrow millions of people will be out buying cards, flowers, candy etc for those they love; people always ask me what do I think of the holiday and I have a love/hate relationship with it and I don't always talk about my past but going to share a bit of it.
 I lost my Mum a few days after Valentine's Day and we lost Gwynnie a few days before [Gwynnie is the daughter of a friend who is very special to me she would have been 6 years old this year] so the day itself is surrounded by many painful memories.
  I also remember being in school I was always teased and would watch all my friends get cards, etc and I hardly ever receive anything and my Mum would always send me flowers just so I wouldn't be left out and that is the type of person my Mum was. I was bullied so badly throughout school just because I was "different".  She had such a huge heart [ like my big brother] and would give the coat off her back for a complete stranger if she felt that person needed it more. One reason I try so hard to give back because in doing so it helps keep her memory alive and know it would make her proud.
  So this year for Valentine's Day, I am going to spend time with hospice patients they need love more than ever. It saddens me when I see patients who are alone with no one coming to visit them because I know how that feels to be alone. Losing my parents was one of the hardest things I had ever experienced...so I had to grow up really fast and had to be 40 when I was 15 pretty much. I really don't want sympathy or pity from anyone  but this is why I am so close to my big brother, he was there and looked after me. If it wasn't for him and his band mates and giving me music as my outlet I really would be in a very dark place right now. Now that my big brother is gone keeping his memory alive is just as important too now.
  I've learned how precious each day is and never be afraid to tell those you love how you feel about them. Each day is truly a gift and I try to make the most of it everyday.
  So, on tomorrow think of those who don't have anyone...like me because it is days like tomorrow when believe it or not...we need it the most.
 
xoxo

Nat

I don't pay any attention to any of it....

people think I am absolutely nuts for not watching the telly [television] much and especially after losing my parents and the reactions to them and their lives just really turned me off to an extent from media, paparazzi, etc etc. of course people will spread rumours, lies and flat out gossip about others and not just celebrities or national celebrities should say. I used to let what others said and wrote affect me especially about my parents and even now with my big brother. It just felt as if those who didn't know them were the ones who talked the most.
 yet, beyond that I don't pay attention to what people say as far rumours, etc. etc and even about myself there has been quite a bit told and misconstrued to the point where just have to grow to laugh at it. But lately, my motto has been [from a Madonna song] "I don't want no lies, I don't watch tv, I don't waste my time reading magazines" because literally don't.
 so if people just want to come to me with drama and rumours can guaranteed will be tuned out; and furthermore I wouldn't want to love a perfect person anyway...perfect is so boring...at least for human beings it is. So yes, I will defend him...always...so don't bother if planning to come my way with those things. 

being in love means letting go of all fears....[in theory]

maybe it is only fitting that one of my favourite albums is Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Sarah McLachlan. It definitely describes the state of my life at the moment and it is letting go of all the fears that we hold onto and what has happened to us in the past; I have had my fair shares of disappointments but ya know...I refuse to allow that to stop me from believing in love and that it is out there for me. But, I also have some convincing in that area too ;-) nonetheless...think if could pick an album to say where my life is right now...definitely this one. So to answer questions am I in love...yes am I making a fool of myself...quite possibly but how others perceive me right now doesn't frighten me. Maybe it is time for me to write my heart on my sleeve for the world to see.....

xoxo

Nat

a medley of emotions [when a girl is in love]

what to address first? yes, this is one of those entries where I am just going to write about loads of things all at once. First, would like to thank everyone in NYC for their hospitality it was such an amazing trip and looking forward to heading there again next month!!
  random comment: I now know why I don't listen to the Black Keys. If don't like someone's music or any art form fine...but why does a person have to be disrespectful about it? Being a performer myself I know some of my routines a person may not like but others may love them...that is life and the same for their [Black Keys] music...sure there may be some who feel how they do. But, everyone is entitled to an opinion.
  random comment 2: people make mistakes, and he admitted it, apologised so let's focus on more positive things in life. No one is perfect we should all accept this notion people like to judge entirely too much these days.
 random comment 3: since people have been asking regularly yes, the song I wrote romeo + juliet was in fact inspired by Justin Bieber.
random comment 4: I know some pagers [and others] had been hoping but no, my ex boyfriend and I will not get back together. That chapter of my life is now over and ready to move forward with someone new....overall, he thought I wasn't "cool" enough and thought the grass would be greener elsewhere. She broke his heart now he wants to come back...love those stories, right? I just know where and who I want to be with right now :-)

and speaking of that...for the ex boyfriend I had this song in repeat all day today [because it is true] but nonetheless...new chapter and new beginning in my life and very excited about that!!!