Even though most of my family is Europe we're still celebrating Thanksgiving Day and I don't post much about it but am so thankful for many things this year and past but here are some things that eternally grateful for. Just today learned that my non profit hit the 1,028 mark for followers; it may not seem like a big deal to some but ever since 2006 I became an advocate for promoting women's health so basically promoting healthy body images for young girls. Over that time have had the opportunity to meet and speak with exceptional young women and so honoured to be able to lecture and encourage young girls to never give up. Society can be hard enough on us already and the more we teach and spread love the more healthy [mentally] and physically we can become as a society.
If anything I will continue to advocate for those who feel they do not have a voice and help spread the message that no matter what we are all beautiful and loved as well never alone. Thank you to anyone and everyone who has shared their story and continue to fight...never ever give up xoxo.
much love,
Nat.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
answering tough Q & As [but will try my best]
since the Q & As seem to be popular I will keep posting these and keep the questions coming guys (and girls).
Q: Are you really afraid of flying?
A: Yes! I am very much afraid to fly more than two hours...I become claustrophobic.
Q: Are you truly a hospice nurse?
A: Yes, I am. I promised my parents I would go to school and get a "normal" job before following in their footsteps.Think they wanted me to have something to fall back on...so now I can kind of balance the two I perform when I am not doing rounds at the hospital so basically I am here [home] for my "normal" job any other time away doing photo shoots or shows.
Q: What topics you won't discuss?
A: My romantic life, politics and religion. Those are the three I feel are the most personal to me and I don't like to discuss my most personal life. If I am with someone sure people would know but that aspect of my life I tend to keep private.
Q: Are you single or dating someone?
A: I am lingse :-)
Q: The coolest musician you've met?
A: I would have to say...Michael Jackson although I was not very old...wish I was older so could have a full grasp of what I was experiencing though! My Mum wanted me to grow up on his music and sure enough I did...when I began dancing at the age of 6 he was one of the greatest influences I used to go in the basement for hours watching his videos learning dance moves. The second is Tiger Woods... even though he is not a musician he is still one of the coolest. I will never forget the email he sent about my Mum when she died it was very kind of him to do and to remember her and sure she would have appreciated that as well so despite what people say about him he will always have my respect and gratitude for that.
Q: Your background is in music...?
A: Yes, I used to do PR and marketing for indie bands I do and don't regret it because I ended up putting my music career on the back burner but at the same time it was such a learning experience. Now can focus on my own performing career.
Q: What religion are you?
A: I will be honest, I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian it's something I feel helps keeps me balanced especially in the performing world. I am not going to cram my beliefs down others' throat that isn't my place but for me yes spirituality is very important.
Q: Is true your Godfather is a priest and you seek his counsel before photoshoots, etc?
A: Absolutely. He trusts my judgment which is awesome that he does but if there is something I find questionable I will ask him about it. But I will not be in photo shoots or perform anything I feel would be highly offensive...my motto is this: if it is something I am afraid to say or do in front of my Godfather I probably shouldn't do it!
Q: What was it like having a public break up with you know who?
A: next question :-) but really it happened so long ago or it seems long ago now...that chapter is beyond over in my life. Yes, people will still ask me about it it just sucked having to go through your first major break up in front of everyone but I learned from it that relationship wasn't healthy...now I want something that is stable for sure.
Q: Favorite pizza toppings?
A: veggies!!!!
Q: Favorite season?
A: Fall and spring.
Q: Biggest fear?
A: snakes...they creep me out!!
Q: You have a pet hamster?
A: I do, her name is Ludmilla Elizabeth aka Liza. My spoiled fur baby! :-p
Q: Are you really afraid of flying?
A: Yes! I am very much afraid to fly more than two hours...I become claustrophobic.
Q: Are you truly a hospice nurse?
A: Yes, I am. I promised my parents I would go to school and get a "normal" job before following in their footsteps.Think they wanted me to have something to fall back on...so now I can kind of balance the two I perform when I am not doing rounds at the hospital so basically I am here [home] for my "normal" job any other time away doing photo shoots or shows.
Q: What topics you won't discuss?
A: My romantic life, politics and religion. Those are the three I feel are the most personal to me and I don't like to discuss my most personal life. If I am with someone sure people would know but that aspect of my life I tend to keep private.
Q: Are you single or dating someone?
A: I am lingse :-)
Q: The coolest musician you've met?
A: I would have to say...Michael Jackson although I was not very old...wish I was older so could have a full grasp of what I was experiencing though! My Mum wanted me to grow up on his music and sure enough I did...when I began dancing at the age of 6 he was one of the greatest influences I used to go in the basement for hours watching his videos learning dance moves. The second is Tiger Woods... even though he is not a musician he is still one of the coolest. I will never forget the email he sent about my Mum when she died it was very kind of him to do and to remember her and sure she would have appreciated that as well so despite what people say about him he will always have my respect and gratitude for that.
Q: Your background is in music...?
A: Yes, I used to do PR and marketing for indie bands I do and don't regret it because I ended up putting my music career on the back burner but at the same time it was such a learning experience. Now can focus on my own performing career.
Q: What religion are you?
A: I will be honest, I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian it's something I feel helps keeps me balanced especially in the performing world. I am not going to cram my beliefs down others' throat that isn't my place but for me yes spirituality is very important.
Q: Is true your Godfather is a priest and you seek his counsel before photoshoots, etc?
A: Absolutely. He trusts my judgment which is awesome that he does but if there is something I find questionable I will ask him about it. But I will not be in photo shoots or perform anything I feel would be highly offensive...my motto is this: if it is something I am afraid to say or do in front of my Godfather I probably shouldn't do it!
Q: What was it like having a public break up with you know who?
A: next question :-) but really it happened so long ago or it seems long ago now...that chapter is beyond over in my life. Yes, people will still ask me about it it just sucked having to go through your first major break up in front of everyone but I learned from it that relationship wasn't healthy...now I want something that is stable for sure.
Q: Favorite pizza toppings?
A: veggies!!!!
Q: Favorite season?
A: Fall and spring.
Q: Biggest fear?
A: snakes...they creep me out!!
Q: You have a pet hamster?
A: I do, her name is Ludmilla Elizabeth aka Liza. My spoiled fur baby! :-p
Saturday, November 17, 2012
I am a romantic of romantics.
This is a scene from one of my favourite novels L'Amant (the Lover). I remember hiding in the library reading this in French; I thought this novel was always romantic yet tragic at the same time. I didn't get to see the film until I was much older (wasn't allowed and rightfully so) but I do have mixed reviews on the film itself but this is by far one of my most favourite scenes from it.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
extended and uncut [more Q & A of sorts]
most of these questions from the Q & As are ones that are either tweeted, DM'ed to me, asked in other places, or from formspring.
Q: What age did you begin modeling?
A: I began modeling at the age of 14. My Mum was a professional runway model so pretty much everything about the fashion industry I learned from her...she even taught me how to work the catwalk! I remember I used to beg her to teach me after my school lessons...eventually she started teaching me haha. Although when I first began modeling I did more gothic high fashion which was something to distinguish me from my Mum but now find myself crossing over more to runway and glamour/pin up...I adore pin up the most because I am so fascinated with 1950s-1970s fashion.
Q: What is your ethnicity?
A: My Dad was Ukrainian and my Mum was Native American. However we were born in Thailand. I used to have an accent in fact, I refused to speak in class because I was bullied so much. I used to be and still am at times a little self conscious about how I sound.
Q: How many siblings do you have?
A: I have three older sisters and a brother, most of my family is still in Europe.
Q: What is your favorite Justin Bieber song?
A: not going to lie...I listen to One Love quite a bit so it would be that one!
Q: If you could date any celebrity who would it be?
A: read above answer/question...leave it at that!
Q: Personal life you don't discuss because?
A: It's my personal life. I know it annoys many because I do know I can be a very private person but not everyone needs to know everything. You can be open with people but still have boundaries about what to share. Sometimes also think it is a cultural aspect as well...I mean most places in Europe it is sort of rude to ask personal questions it doesn't mean it's wrong just a cultural aspect.
Q: Favorite color?
A: hmmmm I really don't have one but I do wear purple, blue, gray and black alot. I like to wear earth tones mostly.
Q: Fashion influence?
A: I LOVE designers from Eastern Europe!!! Valentin Yadushkin is an amazing designer. Here in the states I love local designers like Make Believe Monsters, Midnight Lady, anti Label, etc. I love local stores to find fashions.
Q: Favorite photographer you worked with?
A: I would say Laura Dark. I was so intimidated at first because it was Laura Dark! But she was one of the nicest people one could ever meet...she is such an amazing photographer. One I would love to work with but haven't yet would be Todd Eko his photography is so unique. I've always been attracted to edgier and darker type of photoshoots mainly because it is so opposite of my personality.
Q: Vacation adventure or relaxing?
A: well...if I was with a guy relaxing ha! But I love outdoors so things like picnics, skateboarding I love. I like adventures.
Q: Favorite shoes?
A: converse so comfy and after wearing pointe shoes they feel amazing on my feet! But anything that is comfortable is great for me.
Q: What is your "style"?
A: I love to set trends believe it or not! I normally don't wear what everyone else does...but there are three things I think any girl/woman should have: kick ass red lipstick, heels, and jeans. Anything else is a matter of creativity! :-)
Q: What age did you begin modeling?
A: I began modeling at the age of 14. My Mum was a professional runway model so pretty much everything about the fashion industry I learned from her...she even taught me how to work the catwalk! I remember I used to beg her to teach me after my school lessons...eventually she started teaching me haha. Although when I first began modeling I did more gothic high fashion which was something to distinguish me from my Mum but now find myself crossing over more to runway and glamour/pin up...I adore pin up the most because I am so fascinated with 1950s-1970s fashion.
Q: What is your ethnicity?
A: My Dad was Ukrainian and my Mum was Native American. However we were born in Thailand. I used to have an accent in fact, I refused to speak in class because I was bullied so much. I used to be and still am at times a little self conscious about how I sound.
Q: How many siblings do you have?
A: I have three older sisters and a brother, most of my family is still in Europe.
Q: What is your favorite Justin Bieber song?
A: not going to lie...I listen to One Love quite a bit so it would be that one!
Q: If you could date any celebrity who would it be?
A: read above answer/question...leave it at that!
Q: Personal life you don't discuss because?
A: It's my personal life. I know it annoys many because I do know I can be a very private person but not everyone needs to know everything. You can be open with people but still have boundaries about what to share. Sometimes also think it is a cultural aspect as well...I mean most places in Europe it is sort of rude to ask personal questions it doesn't mean it's wrong just a cultural aspect.
Q: Favorite color?
A: hmmmm I really don't have one but I do wear purple, blue, gray and black alot. I like to wear earth tones mostly.
Q: Fashion influence?
A: I LOVE designers from Eastern Europe!!! Valentin Yadushkin is an amazing designer. Here in the states I love local designers like Make Believe Monsters, Midnight Lady, anti Label, etc. I love local stores to find fashions.
Q: Favorite photographer you worked with?
A: I would say Laura Dark. I was so intimidated at first because it was Laura Dark! But she was one of the nicest people one could ever meet...she is such an amazing photographer. One I would love to work with but haven't yet would be Todd Eko his photography is so unique. I've always been attracted to edgier and darker type of photoshoots mainly because it is so opposite of my personality.
Q: Vacation adventure or relaxing?
A: well...if I was with a guy relaxing ha! But I love outdoors so things like picnics, skateboarding I love. I like adventures.
Q: Favorite shoes?
A: converse so comfy and after wearing pointe shoes they feel amazing on my feet! But anything that is comfortable is great for me.
Q: What is your "style"?
A: I love to set trends believe it or not! I normally don't wear what everyone else does...but there are three things I think any girl/woman should have: kick ass red lipstick, heels, and jeans. Anything else is a matter of creativity! :-)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
dear juice boxes....
So the other day I had a very interesting conversation with some random guys (which was completely unexpected by the way) and the conversation started with the word "swag" and of course their comments were "yea real men don't say 'swag'" etc. etc. mind you these are men one could classify as "juice boxes" you know the gym buffs. Now, people are entitled to their opinions on certain things but here is where it became personal for me...my choice in type of men I find attractive (well one in particular more than anything) and of course the juice boxes are unable to comprehend why I wouldn't go for any of them...well for one superficiality is a major point for me. Really, I don't like the real buff men or the ones who constantly live in the gym, sorry but just not something I would go for.
In all honesty, if I did go for a guy it would be someone who has an incredible sense of humour (because one is a necessity to be around me), who is extremely kind and is willing to show compassion towards others.Also someone whom inspires me and can learn from as well have utmost respect for.
I could write this blog forever and a day about my feelings on this but long story short...I am not afraid to defend my choices for what I like and would do so again a million times over...proudly. Sorry Mr. Juice Boxes LOL
So I guess most girls want guys who look like this?
But really...my preference is this:
...so just deal with it men ;-)
In all honesty, if I did go for a guy it would be someone who has an incredible sense of humour (because one is a necessity to be around me), who is extremely kind and is willing to show compassion towards others.Also someone whom inspires me and can learn from as well have utmost respect for.
I could write this blog forever and a day about my feelings on this but long story short...I am not afraid to defend my choices for what I like and would do so again a million times over...proudly. Sorry Mr. Juice Boxes LOL
So I guess most girls want guys who look like this?
But really...my preference is this:
...so just deal with it men ;-)
Monday, November 12, 2012
my thoughts on the inevitable of things....
**the official track listing for the EP "My Turn to Speak"**
"I Wouldn't"
"To Tell You"
"Elsewhere" (Sarah McLachlan cover)
"My Turn to Speak"
"Romeo + Juliet"
basically this was something I began working on as a way to deal with a very public break up almost three years ago...however the first and last songs are recent and were written the other day :-) so hopefully will finish recording this soon...
"I Wouldn't"
"To Tell You"
"Elsewhere" (Sarah McLachlan cover)
"My Turn to Speak"
"Romeo + Juliet"
basically this was something I began working on as a way to deal with a very public break up almost three years ago...however the first and last songs are recent and were written the other day :-) so hopefully will finish recording this soon...
Thursday, November 1, 2012
more Q &A since everyone has been asking.....
Q: When is your birthday?
A: September 26. My name day is March 1. Name Day is an Eastern Orthodox Christian tradition...we celebrate also the day in which the saint we're named after. Mine is Antonina (my Ukrainian/Slavic name).
Q: Favorite city?
A: Chicago. Love love Chicago...I also love the local music scene in Chicago so amazing. I miss places like Wise Fools and Elbo Room for live shows, best times ever. Another one is Toledo...they make me feel like such a celebrity people will ask for autographs, photos etc. it's so cool. I could care less either way but think it is so neat how friendly people are there.
Q: Favorite type of music?
A: I will listen to just about anything, my mp3 player will go from Tyga to Autumn McEntire to Staind pretty eclectic lol.
Q: Favorite holiday?
A: Halloween. I mean it's like Christmas for grown ups. But really my favourite is Pascha (Easter), celebrating Slavic Easter is so amazing.
Q: Time of day?
A: night owl...not a morning person at all not going to lie.
Q: How deal with bullies growing up?
A: It was so difficult. School was very hard for me...my Mum always encouraged me to write or do something creative which I did started writing around 13 or 14. In the past years it helped me deal with alot...when I lost both my parents writing definitely became an outlet for sure; I had alot of anger as a result so kind of acted out some...I've calmed down quite a bit.
Q: How to deal?
A: having creative outlets really helped me cope. I mean I would be in a super dark place right now in life if didn't have those outlets. I think we all have the potential for positive and negative but we need to feed the positive more no one is perfect by any means.
Q: Thoughts on modeling/dancing?
A: dance has been a part of my life since the age of 6. I remember my Mum took me to see Giselle and right then I knew dancing was for me been doing it ever since. Modeling started at 14 but my parents were so protective and they had every right to be. I am actually glad things are happening for me now that I am older because looking back wouldn't have been able to handle most things as now.
Q: Boys?
A: I like them. I don't believe in having types...it limits us I think at least. If trying to ask if I like someone then yes...but at the same time I don't do the whole gushy stuff. Mean, if things happen they happen. I don't drool over guys really never have. It's not that not interested just feel like if he notices me he'll take the initiative. It's how I approach dating in general, it shouldn't be forced...
Q: okay, so dating?
A: I mean...my last relationship kind of just ended. We had a really great relationship and learned alot from that experience. I learned that just because a relationship is great does not mean it's forever. I feel like maybe this was just preparation for the person I am supposed to be with we never know. We're still pretty much friends and are on good terms just we outgrew one another and ended up wanting different things. It happens, just pick up the pieces and move on with life.
Q: Is it true that in the Awakening two of the characters are based on celebrities and one of them you actually like?
A: yes...Damien who is based on Michael Fassbender. Saw him in Jane Eyre which was amazing and is one of my favourite novels. Joseph not really saying but those close to me know and yea...if he is available can definitely look me up haha. But really, I wrote it to deal with my break up that is how I deal, write things and let it go kind of like purging negativity in my life.
Q: Spotlight?
A: I don't need it to be content with life. I mean kind of grew up in it so it was never a driving force in my life I am just happy hanging out with my best friends and us being total goofballs because that is how we roll. Am I comfortable in it possibly...mean honestly celebrities aren't different than anyone else it's just what they do is magnified, but I do know quite a few people who constantly and will do almost anything to be in it...and that isn't me and nothing wrong with it just not me. I have my own career now in nursing so that makes me happy but growing up in it somewhat it does make relating to "normal" people difficult. I mean I do perform but that is more of me cultivating joy so to speak, but last week had someone tell me that performers just understand other performers better so I need to date another performer. Is he right...absolutely but hey I've always been known to do things on my terms and no one else's...there is no strict definition for being normal. Do I need the attention no way. Like with my twitter I don't have a gazillion followers but do know that loads read it which is why I make attempts to be responsible about what I post because it may not appear on my twitter but I do hear about it later haha.
A: September 26. My name day is March 1. Name Day is an Eastern Orthodox Christian tradition...we celebrate also the day in which the saint we're named after. Mine is Antonina (my Ukrainian/Slavic name).
Q: Favorite city?
A: Chicago. Love love Chicago...I also love the local music scene in Chicago so amazing. I miss places like Wise Fools and Elbo Room for live shows, best times ever. Another one is Toledo...they make me feel like such a celebrity people will ask for autographs, photos etc. it's so cool. I could care less either way but think it is so neat how friendly people are there.
Q: Favorite type of music?
A: I will listen to just about anything, my mp3 player will go from Tyga to Autumn McEntire to Staind pretty eclectic lol.
Q: Favorite holiday?
A: Halloween. I mean it's like Christmas for grown ups. But really my favourite is Pascha (Easter), celebrating Slavic Easter is so amazing.
Q: Time of day?
A: night owl...not a morning person at all not going to lie.
Q: How deal with bullies growing up?
A: It was so difficult. School was very hard for me...my Mum always encouraged me to write or do something creative which I did started writing around 13 or 14. In the past years it helped me deal with alot...when I lost both my parents writing definitely became an outlet for sure; I had alot of anger as a result so kind of acted out some...I've calmed down quite a bit.
Q: How to deal?
A: having creative outlets really helped me cope. I mean I would be in a super dark place right now in life if didn't have those outlets. I think we all have the potential for positive and negative but we need to feed the positive more no one is perfect by any means.
Q: Thoughts on modeling/dancing?
A: dance has been a part of my life since the age of 6. I remember my Mum took me to see Giselle and right then I knew dancing was for me been doing it ever since. Modeling started at 14 but my parents were so protective and they had every right to be. I am actually glad things are happening for me now that I am older because looking back wouldn't have been able to handle most things as now.
Q: Boys?
A: I like them. I don't believe in having types...it limits us I think at least. If trying to ask if I like someone then yes...but at the same time I don't do the whole gushy stuff. Mean, if things happen they happen. I don't drool over guys really never have. It's not that not interested just feel like if he notices me he'll take the initiative. It's how I approach dating in general, it shouldn't be forced...
Q: okay, so dating?
A: I mean...my last relationship kind of just ended. We had a really great relationship and learned alot from that experience. I learned that just because a relationship is great does not mean it's forever. I feel like maybe this was just preparation for the person I am supposed to be with we never know. We're still pretty much friends and are on good terms just we outgrew one another and ended up wanting different things. It happens, just pick up the pieces and move on with life.
Q: Is it true that in the Awakening two of the characters are based on celebrities and one of them you actually like?
A: yes...Damien who is based on Michael Fassbender. Saw him in Jane Eyre which was amazing and is one of my favourite novels. Joseph not really saying but those close to me know and yea...if he is available can definitely look me up haha. But really, I wrote it to deal with my break up that is how I deal, write things and let it go kind of like purging negativity in my life.
Q: Spotlight?
A: I don't need it to be content with life. I mean kind of grew up in it so it was never a driving force in my life I am just happy hanging out with my best friends and us being total goofballs because that is how we roll. Am I comfortable in it possibly...mean honestly celebrities aren't different than anyone else it's just what they do is magnified, but I do know quite a few people who constantly and will do almost anything to be in it...and that isn't me and nothing wrong with it just not me. I have my own career now in nursing so that makes me happy but growing up in it somewhat it does make relating to "normal" people difficult. I mean I do perform but that is more of me cultivating joy so to speak, but last week had someone tell me that performers just understand other performers better so I need to date another performer. Is he right...absolutely but hey I've always been known to do things on my terms and no one else's...there is no strict definition for being normal. Do I need the attention no way. Like with my twitter I don't have a gazillion followers but do know that loads read it which is why I make attempts to be responsible about what I post because it may not appear on my twitter but I do hear about it later haha.
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